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I feel like I don't have a life anymore now that she left.

I keep finding information on her and trying to figure out what is going on in her life. 

I'm getting better.  The pain doesn't hurt as much anymore, but I'm starting to feel a little guilty about how much I ask people about her and trying to figure things out.  I really overthink things and can't get my mind to shut up.  I'm so curious I just always want to know everything.

So at work she's been flirting with this girl. I researched her name on FB and I found out she has a lot of similar interests as my ex and doesn't seem to have a relationship.

She left me because she was interested in being with guys so if this girl is going to be my replacement I'm not sure how to feel.  Like I said it doesn't hurt anymore, but I just wonder.

How can I stop thinking this way. I know I need to just keep myself busy and distracted, but I can't always do that.  Especially when I am at work because I work by myself so my mind goes in all different directions.  I've been trying to put in a book on tape to listen to every time I start to think of her, but I don't always want to do that.

I just feel like I don't have a life.  I don't get out of the house much either because I am trying to save money to get away from my parents house. I cannot wait until I can leave. Then I will feel like I have a life again.

It's good to hear that you are doing better. I completely understand how it feels to have your life feeling so empty after spending a significant portion of it with your ex. It's also normal to want to know how your ex is doing compared to how you are doing.

I suggest you try as hard as you can not to check up on your exes social media. You  may  no longer see her in person but that still keeps you connected to her life and you will have a longer time moving on. It is good habit to get used to not knowing about your ex and focusing your attention back onto yourself and getting really used to life without her. You are no longer together so it is truly no longer your business what she does and vice versa.

When you start to think about her at times you can give yourself some time to think about her and feel your emotions. Give yourself a time for example I will only spend 15-20minutes a day thinking about her and then I will go on and make sure I do other things. By thinking I do not mean looking at her things and finding out what she is up to. Just acknowledging that you are still grieving your loss and that this is a normal process you are going through. You will need to try and discipline your mind because it is used to focusing too much on her rather than yourself.

Don't just wait to save money to have a life again. Start now in small ways. For example eating healthy, exercising, taking care of your health, spending time with loved ones etc.

What have you always wanted to do in your life? What do you wish to personally improve on? What do you want to learn? What places do you want to go? What kind of people do you wish to meet? What does having a life mean to you? Paint a picture of what you would like your life to look like and then go in the direction of what makes you happy.

Hi Shedd,


What do you for selfcare? Do you work out?


11 Benefits of Exercise — Start Working Out Today! Dr. Axe (https://draxe.com/benefits-of-exercise/)

There are a lot of benefits with excersise, i'd like to add that it helps with alleviating stress and you can empty your thoughts in the gym.

You probably feel like you "don't have a life" because while you were with this person, you devoted so much of yourself and your time to them... Now that they aren't there, you have this big empty void of time that used to be occupied with them. That's why you feel that way... I too, feel that way, and I understand your pain. You miss the "noise" they created in your life... Even if it was chaotic and negative a lot of the time... It filled a huge part of you. That is part of why these people become so addictive to us, because we devote so much of ourselves and our time to them, that when they're gone, we feel as though we lost a part of ourselves... You can lose yourself completely in someone like this... You need to remember that you have needs, remember what your needs are, and focus on yourself and getting your true self back.