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My ex never acted out physically with me but I do think she had the potential. She was overly concerned with rape and domestic abuse either in the news and drama. I of course know  these things happen but I honestly got tired of the subject. She would tell me if I ever hit her, male relatives and friends would attack me. I NEVER  laid my hands on her and would never do that. I'm really not a violent person at all.

As I've stated in another thread she has gotten so angry she punched a hole in a door. She also had to be restrained from attacking a relative that said disparaging things to her. She could not let it go. I tried to tell her more than once that when you behave that way it means that the person has some type of power over you.  The person wins by getting under your skin.

As for myself. If I had stayed with her and actually lived with her I think she may have gotten bold enough to attack me. If I defended  myself she would have called the police and I would have domestic violence on my record. This happened to a friend of mine. In all... .It's best that I left her alone.

Wise move, Aesir!  Perhaps your ex was both fascinated and afraid of domestic violence and so subconsciosly egged it on.  BPD mirrors and projects.
Or... .she was drawn to the attention, sympathy and power victimhood offers.

I think so too. She did say that she experienced domestic violence between her grandparents as a child but that was them. Not us. It saddened me that after so many years she was still stuck on these things. It seemed like I was still trying to convince her I'm not like that. She above everyone else should have known better.