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Title: She asks to be friends in the future Post by: noideaforname on January 18, 2017, 06:51:52 PM People here who already read some of my posts know that I take the same classes my ex takes.
She saw me talking on WhatsApp with another girls since we are at one common group. She messages me in private and asks if it would be possible for me to be friends with her when school time is back. She said that we don't have to hurt anyone and some other emotional stuff. Why does she care? She is so inconsistent that it amazes me... .Friends of her called me asking for me to not get defensive with her... .I mean... .She said loud and clear and she don't want to be together anymore. Title: Re: She asks to be friends in the future Post by: joeramabeme on January 18, 2017, 07:09:35 PM Why does she care? She is so inconsistent that it amazes me... .Friends of her called me asking for me to not get defensive with her... .I mean... .She said loud and clear and she don't want to be together anymore. I think you hit the nail on the head in saying that she is inconsistent, it is very likely true. pwBPD struggle with trust and feeling safe. Your being around and talking with others probably brings a lot of mixed feelings for her. How do you feel about her sense of inconsistency? Does it make you wonder if you are triggering her by following along with what you both agreed? Title: Re: She asks to be friends in the future Post by: noideaforname on January 18, 2017, 07:24:29 PM Well I don't know how I feel since she asked 3 different arrangements since the break up.
I think only time will tell... .but I think it's clear that she doesn't want to get back together... .She just doesn't want to feel uncomfortable with thoughts of me and other girls Title: Re: She asks to be friends in the future Post by: tryingsome on January 18, 2017, 07:49:18 PM Prented logic does not exist. Pretend it is a fart by some boy on a unicorn in the desert. If you can understand a world without logic or at least subservient to emotion then a pwBPD becomes the understandable.
Title: Re: She asks to be friends in the future Post by: Octy on January 18, 2017, 08:57:27 PM If you can almost already detach this is a turning point. She would be happy to see you alone but it will not effect her actions one bit. You may just be a blanket or another inanimate noun. Less talk more explaining from her side if you agree to be "friends". Just my opinion.
Title: Re: She asks to be friends in the future Post by: Confused108 on January 19, 2017, 01:25:48 AM When my ex dumped me at first it was like bye see ya. Then thru me contacting her and saying what the heckbis going on it was then she wanted to remain friends. I had NO idea about BPD . I was going to remain friends with her u Tim one night she sent me a message and said to me as long as I know we are just friends. She will meet me for coffee once she is back in NY. That blew my mind and I decided I didn't want her or her poisons sh*t in my life. Also I think a lot of them want to remain friends so they can keep an eye on us and possible to recycle us later. It's all about them !
Title: Re: She asks to be friends in the future Post by: neverloveagain on January 19, 2017, 01:29:13 AM In my personal experience by friend they usually mean pawn for the next crazy drama or triangulation or doormat when they need to off load there bs. Look how you were treated as an intimate partner, now realise that friend has even less meaning to them, more toy to be used and abused as they see fit. Shut the doors remain nc it's not your problem anymore. Good luck.
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