BPDFamily.com

I've recently learned my mother has BPD. She has a tendency to have holes in her memory. Such as physical child abuse etc. How do you deal with someone who conveniently forgets anything they've done wrong, or at the moment they do seem to remember, blames you for everything.?

Also, I don't bring these painful things from the past up. She does randomly.

It can def. be hard to deal with someone esp. someone with BPD (or any or most PDs) that constantly blames you for everything and has distorted views on things that have actually been and also has delusions or makes up things that never happened at all. BPDs seem to not be to take or dont want to take responsibility for their words, behaviors, actions, choices, etc. Although maybe I should reword that although I am not sure how to word it right so I will just say maybe I shouldnt shove all BPDs into one box with what I said and rather say most BPDs and all those BPDs who refuse to seek treatment/help etc. I think we have to use medium chill when we can, validate what we can validate, dont validate the invalid, dont reward the negative, have and set good boundaries and follow them, etc. Also most importantly take care of ourselves and only state things once with them because repeating things doesnt seem to help most times. Welcome to the forum btw and please explore the forum and site there is some very helpful posts links sections etc here that will probably give you a better answer to your question than I could.

Thank you.