BPDFamily.com

Does a female with BPD seem much worse than monthly visitor hormone problems?

Greetings, first time here so, please explain to me what you see most in behavior issues with the (BPD) female ?

Hi there :)

There are different kinds of BPD symptoms, although certainly fast changes in mood and emotional dysregulation are common.

What are some of the behaviors you're dealing with?

LnL

Well, she has problems accepting her accomplishments, went to trade school, did (very) well, got a job right away yet, if i complement her on this she says things like
 ( huh, the job again, yes I know but, i want complements about being a woman once in awhile.)

Seems to discount my opinions on a regular basis rather than embrace them even a little.

Ever since I can remember, she has said things like (I'm just a fat biatch and if someone better comes along you will just dump me like a bad habit)

(she did lose the weight and is by no means fat today)

Seems frantic if i go to a news chat room and talk with names that have female titles even though there are plenty of known male-types there.

If I want to go to neighbors to watch football, seems unhappy that I am having a good time there.

Says things like (why do you hate me so much) over and over again if we have even a slight disagreement.

Threatens to kill herself alot over the phone when we are apart like some sort of stick to get me to do as she wishes and when i hold my ground, starts to use things that I have said in the past to her in anger or frustration or, the females of my past to prove how much of a bad man I am. (I used to date a lot in my 20's) now in my fifties but, I wanted to be honest about it with her.

Bottom line ... .Just the slightest disagreement sets her off and if i even glance at another female has a true hissy fit each and every time.

Also, these symptoms ABSOLUTELY DO INCREASE DURING MENSTRUATION TIMES... .

I have set guidelines as to what she can not speak to me about over and over again but... .it seems like she is (unable) to stop referring to my past.

It causes me great frustration and i end up saying things I really dont mean as a way to stop the onslaught and verbal attacks from her.

She keeps saying (what did I do wrong ? ) all the time like she cannot grasp that verbal abuse is not a good thing to give to a person close to you... .

She claims to have been treated for some sort of depression and anxiety before in her past.

Also, put me on a pedestal right away when we met because she felt I helped her emotionally,listened to her gave her some coping suggestions breathing, music, imagery etc. Now after 3 yrs still feels frantic on a regular basis.

There must be something besides a bunch of chemicals to (dumb her down) to get to the root of this problem and loose the demon that is hidden inside her waiting for redundant trigger points to occur and ruin our basic conversations or nice days yes?

But, the question is, am I on the correct page in the internet ?

(tyvm)

There are plenty of people here with partners who have sub-clinical BPD or BPD traits.

BPD is sort of an extreme form of emotional immaturity, or a developmental arrest with some genetic predispositions, according to some experts.

What you describe sounds like similar themes to things people here discuss.

The goal here on this board is to look at our side of the street and focus on solutions and build relationship and communication skills to prevent things from getting worse.

For example, when she says, "If someone better comes along you will just dump me like a bad habit," you might be inclined to say, "I love you so much you're the best I can't live without you, I would never do that to you, etc. etc."

For someone with BPD, tho, the more effective way to respond is with validation. ":)id something happen to make you feel that way?" Or, "That would feel really awful -- to feel that your partner doesn't love you." Or something like that in your own words.

The point is to not justify, argue, defend, or explain away how she's feeling.

It's an easy skill to learn, harder to put in practice.

LnL