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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: HarryPotterer on January 26, 2017, 12:47:55 PM



Title: The human yoyo
Post by: HarryPotterer on January 26, 2017, 12:47:55 PM
Hello!
Here I am after a relationship with what I have come to believe is a person with BPD.
Two years of emotional abuse and break ups/being sucked back in. Over and over. Idealised/devalued
He proposed then the next day stood abusing me Verbally in a packed airplane cabin. The day after he called me a "___ing moron".
On and on and on the merry go round (miserable go round) went.
My entire family have practically disowned me because I keep going back to him.
He has moved house several times during our relation___. Constantly reinventing himself. Loves something then can't stand it. I just don't know where I am with him. I feel like I have almost lost myself in the miasma of him.


Title: Re: The human yoyo
Post by: Mutt on January 26, 2017, 06:07:58 PM
Hi Harry Potterer,

*welcome*

I'd like to welcome you to  bpdfamily. I'm sorry to hear that. I can understand how lonely that feels when you're not getting support from family  

Many of our members can relate with you and offer you guidance and support. You'll find that you'll fit right in here. You're not alone.

I can relate with that feeling where you don't know where you stand with your pwBPD, it feels like you're walking on eggshells. A pwBPD have engulfment fears, fear of being rejected, fear of the self being consumed in the r/s. The closeness with intimacy triggers a pwBPD and they push loved ones away, the distance then triggers what a pwBPD which is abandonment, a pwBPD will then pull. That feeling like you're being pulled like a yo-yo can feel like crazymaking behavior.

Are you together or apart currently?


Title: Re: The human yoyo
Post by: ynwa on January 28, 2017, 03:15:23 PM
Hello Harry,

I read your post, and also want to welcome you and check in with you.

It's a lot to feel that push and pull.  It's hard to keep your footing. 
I'm going through very much the same feelings, and I just want to tell you it's ok to put yourself first for awhile.  Take time and just breathe.

YNWA.