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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: byfaith on January 27, 2017, 02:27:12 PM



Title: Don't know how to answer this or if I even should... strong FOG
Post by: byfaith on January 27, 2017, 02:27:12 PM
I don't have time to give the whole backstory here ( I used to post on the undecided board)... .but it has boiled down to my uBPDw filing for divorce. I have not been served yet. I was driven out of my home last night with threats of physical abuse at the hands of my wife. Jamming her finger into my bottom lip. In my face tempting me to hit her telling me she was going to knock my good eye out, punch my eyes out... .just being relentless. I had to leave before I got hurt or I tried to prove I wasn't "afraid" of her, just don't want to end up in jail.  She was doing this all in front of her 32 year old Schizophrenic son, who lives with us. Mocking me, he was laughing at the crap she was saying to me.

Fast forward to today... .I am almost positive she was at attorneys office. She texts me a few minutes ago and

HER: Byfaith, I'm going to ask you this one time or should I say one last time, are you positive you're OK with leaving (my son) and me? Breaking your vows you made to me before God? Leaving a physically and mentally handicapped man with hardly any life to speak of who loves you?please give me a yes or a no I really need this answer for myself.
Your ignoring my question will be rightfully  be interpreted as yes, you are all right with it.

I am not "alright" with it.  I am sorry but she is crazy and she is using her son as a pawn. I cannot live with her any longer. I hate this for him.

I don't think I am going to respond to the text. I don't even think I will respond to the question.


Title: Re: Don't know how to answer this or if I even should... strong FOG
Post by: once removed on January 27, 2017, 02:36:54 PM
hi byfaith,

im sorry for the circumstances that have brought you to this board. you do sound exhausted, and i commend you for removing yourself and not letting a really difficult situation escalate, i can imagine how tough it would be to keep relatively cool.

I don't think I am going to respond to the text. I don't even think I will respond to the question.

okay. the question is pretty loaded obviously.

how are you feeling today?


Title: Re: Don't know how to answer this or if I even should... strong FOG
Post by: byfaith on January 27, 2017, 02:55:14 PM
it was a relief in my mind today that the divorce process was actually moving forward.  I am at the point now that I have to let the chips fall where they fall. There is no peace in my life when I am with her.

She was playing head games with me earlier today and then she tries to make it sound like I make things up.

HER: SS# pls?

HER: Never mind. Duh I have it

ME: What did you need it for?

I call her and she ignores my first call and then she reluctantly answers my second call and I ask what she needed it for and she paused and wouldn't answer me and said I am in the middle of something
I just decided to not let it upset me
then over an hour later I get this

HER: Geez byfaith, I'm not playing games. I'm not USING your Ss#  (pretty sure she was at the attorneys office) at any rate she had a "reason" for not telling me why she requested my ssn

HER:Hello?

HER:Using your Social Security number would be against the law

HER: See, this is what you do you always bend things out of shape to make me look bad. Facts are facts so no matter what you try to make it  SEEM like is a lie. it doesn't work that way by faith just like last night. You know you were at fault and you started that whole argument you had a reason which I can only guess but I'm not even going to do that


Title: Re: Don't know how to answer this or if I even should... strong FOG
Post by: byfaith on January 27, 2017, 03:10:25 PM
BTW... .the argument I "started" last night... .I came home from a leadership/management dinner that I called her to remind her of earlier in the day.

So she calls me during the dinner, can't answer the phone because my manager was up speaking to the small group, she didn't leave a message or send me a text so I figured it was not important

Mind you we have not been getting along, so I get home go back to my bedroom ( we have separate rooms) and the chair that is in my room by my nightstand was laying sideways on the floor by the door and there was a desk sitting in my room that was moved in from another room and it looked all disheveled like stuff had been thrown around and I said " so you are into trashing my room now?"

for as many texts she sends she could have let me know what she was doing. She wanted the chair in her room and the desk moved out of her room.She was waiting for me to get home to move it out the door. Under our circumstances I thought other wise. My statement started the whole rage she displayed last night

She kept demanding an apology but I refused to give one. I did say I was incorrect in my assumption but I was not apologizing (normally I would)
I have been hit upside the head enough times without ever being apologized to

Have had enough folks