BPDFamily.com

As far as the wording of access times set down by the judge, what days and time to pick up and drop off s10, my xw follows to a tee not a second more. But the other details of the order, like issues to be settled by the parents are going to be impossible to settle. After all the proof we set down before the judge of how 100% unreasonable xw is, the judge wrote up a pretty flimsy order. Xw has never followed an order only what she really must follow. The judge put in the order "no reasonable request for extra access by the father shall be refused". I put a request in for a wednsday overnight and was met with the usual ignorance. The judge took my wednsday and Sunday overnight away and gave me a split weekend to give me more awake time with s10. My reasonable request was refused and this is the whole issue with why no court order ever works bc xw just does not compromise as adults we are suppose to work out minor problems but we can't bc she just will not budge. So I am going to push it with the court to see where it goes.

I believe the judge may have worded the order as such to allow your XW some room to compromise. Doesn't seem likely for her to compromise. All you may do now is keep a record of your requests and her responses. When you go to court next time, ask for definite orders that meet your needs as well as s10's . That may call for more planning on your part. 

To paraphrase, I believe the judge may have worded the order as such to allow your XW some room to... .show whether she will be "reasonable" when faced with "reasonable" requests.  In other words, room to comply or reject/obstruct.  Now that may be overly hopeful thinking, maybe the judge really believes just telling her to be reasonable will work.  Or he's tightening a 'noose' a little to see what happens.  I guess you won't know until you're back in court and report what's really been happening.

While I don't know your work schedule, it does seem that split weekends aren't common.  Do you get every weekend split?  I ask because one reason full weekends (whether on or off) work is they allow the parent to plan activities that take the entire weekend, out of town trips to recreational sites, family events, sleepovers, etc and not have in the back of their minds, "okay, I have to be back in time for the exchange".

Were there any ordered conditions for reasonable requests?  Do you have to exchange an equivalent amount of time, that is, try to trade?  I suspect not because it says "extra access".  Do you have to give a reason such as to take him to a movie, watch a ball game, some event or activity with his friends, etc?

As Ananass wrote, document your polite requests and the responses.  If by email or text then save copies.  Phone requests are harder to document because many courts don't have a history of allocating the time or willingness to listen.

My L is very unhappy with this loose order. We have been bounced around with judges. The judge we were suppose to have couldn't appear, he was familiar with the difficulties of this case. They got a retired judge who knew nothing of this case. I feel it was treated like any ordinary family court case. My L pushed the point home prrletty good of xw difficult behaviour but the judge seemed unconcerned. I am hoping I can get the judge who was support to hear our case, to review the order, he did make changes to the order in the past,  over ruled another judges decision.