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Because when i went, they were staying in these disfuncial relaionships so in away they were trying to justify why they were. If this was the saving board it would be different. In order to move forward after its over... .you need to stop with the justifying. Be honest with yourself, stop making excuses for unacceptable behavoir. And stop the fantasy of a perfect relationship. Think about it. Addicts have to rock bottom and seek help on their own
 They have to do it for themselves... .no one else for it to be successful.
Same applies to the mentally ill. As long as someone stands by them and takes their abuse they do not have to see it, im not talking about those who are seeking help.
Watching the videos makes people feel for their cluster b , as these people are saying the victim pity me. The fact that seems to keep being left out of the equation is that they DONOT feel like nons. They DONOT have a core of who they are. They adapt to who they are with. So they will not love you as you love them, fact. They might stay but it will be for what they are getting from you.
Why would anyone want to be treated like an appliance?
This isnt a normal i miss my ex thing, distruction is what brought us here.
Making excuses for their behaviour is crazy.
If someone punched you in the face and you told a friend, would they say: well what did you say, how did you word it, maybe they have a lot on their mind, i watched a video about an abuser and they have so much feelings trapped inside them, i feel sorry for them
So we should feel bad for Scott Peterson?

excellent point.



people have a range of reactions. for some it helps understand, and thereby depersonalize very hurtful behavior, and thereby let go of the justified anger. we all felt for our exes at some point  :)

did you watch the video?

Yes i did.

And i guess i missed the part where they were remorseful about how they treated other people. Hey pity me, not my fault cuz im sick... .puke! As i said it is an excuse for abusive behavior.