BPDFamily.com

My ex and I had your typical push and pull relationship, with lots of breakups and reconciliations, but ended in what might be a final breakup. It's been two years, whereas the longest separation before had been a couple of months. The breakups got harsher as they went on, and with this one she blocked me on everything, except one line of communication. I've read that's common, that they leave one line of communication open, and am wondering if people have experience with that. 

In our case, the line left open is a funny one, the dating app we original matched on.

The reasons why she kept us matched, while going out of her way to block me and delete me on other things, is easy to imagine. It's a window into my dating life... am I still on the app? Have I changed my pictures? It's also a way that I could communicate in theory, though even in my most desperate moments following the breakup, when I was sending pleading emails, I never tried to send a message on the dating app. It was clear that she didn't want to hear from me, and if she blocked me on the app I'd lose my only window into her dating life too.

I know the conventional advice is to stop looking, to block her and move on, but I can't. That's not what I'm here for. I love her more than anybody I've dated and still hope to reconcile. I'm looking for advice on how to handle this one last line / window.

Friends have been encouraging me to either unmatch her, or pause the app but in a way that I can return and still be matched. I see pros and cons.

Disappearing from the app might get her attention and make her wonder if I have a girlfriend now, and while showing that I've moved on and no longer waiting for her call might be valuable in shifting the power, she's also so insecure and fragile that I feel like she won't stick her neck out if she thinks there's a chance I could reject her. I know her so well, and to finally reach out only to hear "sorry I have a gf now" would be her worst nightmare.

Disappearing from the app for a while and then returning might give her something to mull over but I'm afraid will just turn into her telling her friends "he's back on, nothing ever changes, he probably did all same terrible things to the next girl." Returning to the dating app is such a sad looking turn.

I know everybody is different, but my relationship with my ex has been such a classic push/pull BDP relationship, and I'm curious if anybody has insight on how a channel like this should be handled if the goal is to reconnect and reconcile. I still love her very much and believe truly that I'd be able to navigate the complexities of our relationship better if we get another shot. I've not met anybody else, and from what I can tell from this last remaining window, I don't think her dating life is going much better.  Thanks for the advice.

We have all been in something similar as in wondering if we should get back with an ex. The answer in most cases is no. Save your self-respect and move on. I know this is hard but you want to be with some that makes you, her king. Even if it is in craziness, she should still put you first above all else. Keep improving yourself and keep not being scared of rejection and you will find the next one. If you do not have people to talk with message me and vent.