BPDFamily.com

Hello. After being in a "relationship" for 5 years or so with someone who hid from me about his condition. He is nearly 40. He was about to leave to get weed and said something with sarcasm and so I answered him with sarcasm and this started to led to an argument, he started to tell me nasty stuff, I was preparing my dinner and so I thought it's time to leave to my parents house because I knew this was going to escalate. (He kicked me once a couple of years ago, and everytime I would leave to my parents when I was feeling like avoiding the aggressivity. He also kicked his father and the mother out many times even though the house belongs to his mother... lol I always thought something was not right when kicking her mother out I always thought it is because he is adopted and his parents didn't treat him good?) Anyway... back to the beginning. I was about to leave because I knew where this was going and he kicked me out and took my keys. He was shouting and threatenig me and so I left but I went back inside telling him that he never offered me not even the bare minimum. He could spend hours, days, weeks, months playing videogames and smoking weed. And well, nothing was ever right. Whatever I was doing for him because I love him and I care, that's why I was in the relationship. You need to care about the other person. So, I was pissed off and send him a message telling him to pay me for the chickens food and he Blocked me. I tried to contact him a few days after he didn't pick up the phone. I sent him a letter but he didn't contact me. It's been almost 1 month. Is it over for good? I've been in the deep PLEASE READ (https://bpdfamily.com/safe-site.htm), I don't even know how our dog is. The dog is under his name but I was always taking her for walks, feeding her because he was always forgetting. I was taking care of the chickens, I don't even know if he is feeding them. Always cleaning his mess. I felt like his mother or like I was the male in the relationship. I was taking care of the garden. He was not even showering... sometimes 2 months without taking a shower. It was breaking me inside. Too much to write here. I never knew of his condition, I always thought it was because of the weed. One month after I still feel like throwing up. My life and everything what I had, the house and the dog. Everything is gone now. I couldn't even take my stuff. Is this over? I cannot live like this anymore. I'm thinking of moving abroad but I'm waiting... how long should I wait? Or should I not wait at all... I did everything for him, everything. Sorry for the wrong spelling, I don't even know how to type down this never ending nightmare. I miss my home, the garden. The dog. I miss him too but I felt like I was going crazy inside many times. Why he is punishing me like this, the dog was very attached to me. She was always by my side