BPDFamily.com

Hi guys,

I made a post here a few days ago regarding my ex coming back into my life after 3 years. Claiming she missed me, and regrets losing me. We talked but infrequently as she takes days to reply and never seems to give me more than 20 mins. She tells me she wants to facetime and when I say I can call she goes back to not answering for days. I feel as though she lies a lot to me. Claiming she has no phone when I know she does, she only texts me from an email on her iPad. She also lied about her mom being back in jail the other day. Anyways, yesterday I noticed none of my messages said delivered under them so I am assuming she blocked me. I'm really hurt. Does anyone know why she would come back just to claim she misses me and regrets losing me just to block me like i'm nothing. What is the point of coming back into someone's life years later just to lie to them, and pretend to miss them? Does anyone think she will message me again. She stopped messaging me for 45 days the other month and just came back. I am really hurt and confused and wondering what will happen next.

Jumping over to this thread to say that I don’t have any answers since I’m in the same position as you, but I can sympathize with how confusing and maddening it is to finally hear from your ex after so long, only to be blocked and ghosted again. When I received a text from my ex almost a year after our breakup and then found that I wasn’t able to text back, people told me that she’s sick and twisted and playing all sorts of games. I’ve always chosen to believe the most charitable interpretation which is that she’s had a lot of complicated feelings after the breakup, had a moment where she wanted to say something but then retreated out of fear. Fear motivates so much of what my ex does and seems to be a dominant emotion in pwBPD. I have no idea if either of us will hear from our exes again. If I had to bet I would say that we both will, since past behavior is a good predictor of future behavior, but there’s no way to know. The most important thing that I try to remind myself is that if my ex is behaving this way, whether it’s spiteful games or just fear, she’s in no position to have a relationship with me, sadly. I hope that changes, but until she reaches out, talks, forgives me for my mistakes and takes some accountability for her mistakes, and most importantly shows the courage to grow and not run, she’s not somebody I can be in a relationship with, as much as I miss her.