BPDFamily.com

 :hi:

Hi there,

I'm new here, and glad I found this forum.  I have been dx with BPD, and a few other MH disorders, and have found out recently (because we were estranged) that my son and I share some of our disorders, one of them being BPD.  We are very similar except, while mine is as emotionally challenging, I have been learning to use my tools, and skills.  We both hurt ourselves, but his is more intense, and requires hospitalizations.  He was just released, for the 2nd time since October.

My ability to "hold it together" for him is strong, but inside, I know it is truly a struggle, and I'm noticing that I am comparing myself to him.  He "loves to be on the go" and wants to include me, but my depression is SO LOW that I can't leave my room.  I have an appointment on the 24th of Jan. 

But I'm just wondering how to navigate.  I am hoping that someone has some advice because I am embarrassed about being jealous of the fact that my son is more independent that I am at his age, than I was (or that I'm able to be now, due to my disabilities).  I just want to cry  :help: :cry:

Hi and welcome.
Others will probably chime in, but for the person who suffers from BPD , another forum may be helpful like
 https://www.mentalhealthforum.net/forum/forums/borderline-personality-disorder-forum.142/.

It seems that your son is an adult since you have mentioned you both are estranged from each other?  Your first step is to get help for yourself.  Good on you for making an appointment for yourself. You have to hold it together for yourself, more so than for your son.  I don't know where you live, but in some ( most? ) states in the US, have some form of mental health crisis unit that can come out to your house to talk to you.  I mention this since you have stated you stay in your room.  These people can come to you initially and maybe provide some resources.