BPDFamily.com

Hello,
I am a Mom of 2 children. My 15 yr old daughter has been in various RCTs for 8 months. She continues to get worse not better. After a recent episode, she is in a stabilizing facility and may not be allowed to return to her current RCT. Wondering what to do and looking at other RCTs. Overwhelmed!

Hi Mommay
Welcome here and thanks for posting. I imagine 'overwhelmed' barely describes what you are feeling at the moment. You have been able to get others involved in supporting your DD, but you see her getting worse and not improving.

Your post brought back memories of the energy that was needed to get anyone involved in my DD's life. It is just exhausting. And when you see that things are not improving - well it's hard not to feel just desperate.

I wish I had a formula where I could say 'do this, this and this' and you will see improvement'.

What I can say is that you are not alone in what you are challenged with, and the way you are feeling. This is the only place where I know people really do understand being overwhelmed.

If it is possible to make even a short amount of time each day which is a 'DD free' zone ie you are not thinking about her, not engaged in trying to sort out what is going to happen etc. I find my DD takes over my life even when she is not around - she is on my mind and triggers my anxiety.

But the DD free zone is time out - have a coffee, ring up a friend for a chat (about anything but DD), watch a short comedy (I go to youtube for this) or make a plan to do something. I am currently using all my DD free zone time to investigate soap making!

It is hard at first. But the journey with a loved one with BPD is a marathon and supporting yourself in however way you can is vital for the long haul.

I hope a placement will come soon - and that you can see some progress, however small, for all the love and effort you have put in to support your daughter.