BPDFamily.com

I have found myself wishing that my dBPDh would connect with other people with BPD on a forum like this one, so that he can contextualise his feelings and feel less shame/humiliation through recognising that other people feel the same. (In my dreams, this would happen. I realise that in real life it wouldn't be like that at all!!)

But it made me wonder if there are groups for BPD sufferers or if they are all like my H and won't acknowledge the diagnosis? He feels that his feelings are mystical so I suppose it would devalue them to recognise commonality.

Does anyone else's pwBPD use a forum? And if so, do they talk about it and is it useful?

~10+ years ago, bpdrecovery.com (http://www.bpdrecovery.com/) was more active. It was structured similarly to here, as an anonymous forum/message boards, with links/articles/resources. Many staff members here considered it reputable, as it focused on personal growth and responsibility, not blame or victimhood. They may have pivoted to Facebook or another platform, I'm not sure.

While I don't have experience with Emotions Matter (https://emotionsmatterbpd.org/), they look much more current (Facebook page updated yesterday), and appear to offer many different groups, including peer support, grief, education about their groups, a Facebook page, and in person events. So, I would surmise that there are pwBPD who acknowledge and maybe embrace their diagnosis, and engage in peer support and advocacy.

It's possible that pwBPD might attend NAMI Connections (https://www.nami.org/program/nami-connection/), though those groups aren't for pwBPD specifically, but for general mental health conditions.

Each pwBPD is a unique individual, so your H may be having an experience of BPD different from those who are able and willing to engage with peer support. It's interesting that you mention that he perceives his feelings as mystical -- that may be "working" for him at some level, to provide emotional protection.

My dBPDh has recently started attending the Emotions Matter men's group and finds it really helpful.

https://emotionsmatterbpd.org/

It has taken a very long time for him to even start to accept his diagnosis, and there is no way he would have considered joining such a group two years ago. After all, the problems in our relationship were me, not him   *)

Joining the group has already made him more accepting of the idea that he might have BPD, as he is finding a lot of commonality with the other people there.

I think the person with BPD has to open their mind just a chink to let the light in. It's like an alcoholic joining AA - the first thing they have to be ready to say is "My name is xxx. I'm an alcoholic".