|
Title: Friend with BPD blocked me Post by: tomas125cz on February 13, 2025, 10:30:53 AM My friend blocked me three days ago because I told her that I didn’t think it was a good idea for a guy she’s been dating for three months (and has only known for four months) to move in with her. Especially since he was in an 8-year relationship before and cheated on his ex. She blocked me on Instagram, then five minutes later, she messaged me on WhatsApp, saying I had screwed up my last chance—and immediately blocked me there too. At the beginning of the year, she was mad at me for 17 days because I reached out to his ex to ask if he really cheated. Back then, she told me we would never talk again, but she eventually started talking to me anyway. This is the second time in a year and a half that she has blocked me, and she has also ignored me for a week several times over small things. But despite all of this, I don’t want to lose her. What can I do? I also noticed that even though she blocked me, she is still using my Facebook account that I once lent her.
Title: Re: Friend with BPD blocked me Post by: kells76 on February 13, 2025, 11:57:19 AM Hello tomas125cz and a warm *welcome*
It clear you care about your friend -- it's so hard to see loved ones making choices that seem unwise at best and maybe even dangerous. We're real live human beings; of course we want to say something! If BPD (also known as chronic emotional dysregulation) is involved, or even if it's not, accidentally invalidating (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=81442.0) comments can land as hurtful or not understanding, even if we never meant our comments that way. Accidental invalidation can look like telling someone what to do or what not to do, telling someone that what they're doing is a bad idea, getting involved with someone's relationships to "help" or "protect" them, etc. I'm guessing you and your friend are both adults -- is that true? What would it be like to just listen to your friend next time, as a way to rebuild trust? People who feel truly heard at first, will often be more open to input later *) Title: Re: Friend with BPD blocked me Post by: tomas125cz on February 13, 2025, 12:07:59 PM I’ve always listened to her in every relationship she’s been in, but this time I felt like I had to step in because it’s an extreme disaster waiting to happen. She considered me her best friend and one of the most important people in her life, so I thought she would at least understand that I was coming from a place of care, not judgment.
|