BPDFamily.com

 :caution: First post   :hi:

I've been working in the social service sector for 8 years ; Completed a bachelor's in psychology at a prestigious college (scraping by). Played college football at the QB position. All done in a new state and with little (blood) family support.

My mother (whom I was extremely close with) died from a heroin OD a little less than a year prior to me leaving off for college.

She abandoned me and our home 3 years prior to her fatal OD, following an OD where I found her and responded. In response, I completed most of my high-school career at my dad/step-mom's house (a very quiet place).

At current, I'm estranged from my blood family. I felt tired of being invalidated and misunderstood continuously.

I've been referred to this community by a colleague, as I'm intent on diving deeper into my own therapeutic work (though, I realize my post up until this point has been pretty surface level).

Not only do I feel the need to do therapeutic work for my own good and those around me, but I also feel hopeful that if I do, I can help others in the realm of therapy (mommy stuff, I feel sure of). Working in social services, though difficult often, seems like the only career field I actually desire to be in. I'm willing to take up other work for financial reasons and reprieve, but I haven't found anything else that sparks the soul.

Control and shame are areas that I've struggled with and that can be apparent in my interactions with others. I feel hopeful that I can chip away at those facets with the help of my therapist and others.

 :help:

Thank you all

Welcome to this forum. I commend you for your resilience and also for your academic succes at college while also balancing time for athletics. That is an accomplishment to be proud of.

So sorry to hear you lost your mother, and at a young age. While our individual situations may be different, we do have common experiences here. It is good you are in therapy. Many of us are in some kind of counseling too. This is a lay person board and so a therapist can provide one on one professional counseling.

As you know from your profession, BPD and addictions can co-exist, and family dynamics are similar with either one. I am surprised that counselors I have consulted with didn't suggest ACA and CODA- but one did a while back and I have found that to be very helpful.  If you have not looked into this, I would suggest this to you and also by being familiar with it, you could refer your clients if it could help them too. It does not take the place of professional counseling or this board- but it's another avenue to consider in addition.

I think control and shame are common issues for children who grow up with these dynamics. If you post some specifics (don't post indentifying info) I think people here can relate.