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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: olafinski on May 16, 2025, 05:20:05 AM



Title: An episode for uBPDw where she is totally calm, cold and in control
Post by: olafinski on May 16, 2025, 05:20:05 AM
Hi,
52 yo partner of an uBPD wife 50yo in perimenopause. Together for 18 years, one step-son 25, one son 14.
I am experiencing a new thing - and episode with divorce threat, but my wife is fully in control or at least seems to be.
She is talking the ussual trash and conspiracy theories and false "truths" as she always does, but there is no emotional outburst, yelling etc. Isn't interested in my point of view, dismisses everything I say as ussual. But it is all different somehow, controled and cold.
Anyone else witnessed something like this? This kind of change of behaviour.


Title: Re: An episode for uBPDw where she is totally calm, cold and in control
Post by: once removed on May 29, 2025, 04:43:32 PM
it sounds like a certain coldness has replaced some of the volatility youve been used to.

can I ask, what about this change is hitting you hardest right now? is it the threat of divorce? the unpredictability? the fact that your usual responses aren't landing the same way?

there might be something to pull apart here, and wed be glad to help if you want to dig into it.