BPDFamily.com

 :( I am not computer savvy and do not know how to get Bpd ex's stalking eyes out of my computer. I have an ancient HP powered by Windows 10. Folks, their abandonment issues have no time limits as I have been NC for a very long time. She leaves little clues on social media letting me know she sees what sites I visit and I feel violated. I already changed my comcast xfinity password and computer password. Does Windows 10 have free anti spyware?  Is anyone here computer savvy?

This is what I've used for over a decade.  There's a paid version and a free version- you can stick to free and be just fine.  https://www.iobit.com/en/advancedsystemcarefree.php (https://www.iobit.com/en/advancedsystemcarefree.php)

However, I don't think she's spying on you directly.  It's possible she has a remote desktop feature, but for that you'd have to bring your computer to a local shop to have that disabled.  Honestly, Windows 10 is at end of life and you'd be better off just buying a new budget laptop.  I wouldn't spend any money on your current system.

Unless they are a computer whiz and have extensive experience, the most likely way to see the sites you are visiting is if they have your email password and then can get into your browser. (Chrome, Microsoft, etc) and if they have social media passwords. You can also delete your browsing history.

Changing your passwords to these accounts will stop them being able to access them. Close any joint accounts like email, Netflix, Amazon, and change your password on social media accounts. Set up 2 step verification with your phone # and an email. Check to be sure they haven't added their info on there.

After you have done this (you need to do this for safety). If they continue to make claims of seeing this- consider are they making educated guesses since they know you, or is there someone you have "friended" that will report what you post or say to them? They don't have to get into your accounts if someone is doing this for them.

One thing to consider is what to post or say- as anyone can screenshot it and send to them and update your privacy settings.

I agree with Notwendy, the most likely explanation is that your ex either has the passwords for your critical accounts, or your ex has guessed them.  You can change your passwords right now.  In addition, you can set up two factor authentication for your critical accounts--any account that you'd lament if it were hacked into.  That would probably include your main email account.  It's a good practice to use different passwords for different accounts, to prevent hackers from easy entry, if they obtain one of your passwords and try to apply it to different sites.

One easy way to create unique passwords is to employ a formula.  Let's say you use Facebook and Xfinity.  Your password formula could be First two letters of vendor + $ + childhood address.  So your new passwords would be Fa$321RiverSt and Xf$321RiverSt.  My point is, it's easy for you to remember, long and complex enough to fulfill most vendors' password requirements, and it's unique to each site.  Just make sure nobody discovers your formula!

 :hug: Thank you family, will do! I just wonder how many do this to their ex's?   I have never seen threads about this here. There were 2 other people who have stalked dum-dum me with their computers, and told me in subtle ways. Bpd with Narc tendencies, can be power-control bullies!

This resource has information on cyber-stalking, checking your tech, etc.  https://www.techsafety.org/resources-survivors