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Title: What to do when she has been quiet for the last few days Post by: Bradleyblake483 on July 23, 2025, 05:30:08 PM My ex (F41), who has been diagnosed with BPD, reached out to me (38M) about a month ago. We dated for four years, but she split me black about six years ago. However, she has reached out from time to time, and we actually reconnected a few years ago when I was going to help her with the child she had with another guy. However, I was discarded again after she said I reached out and talked to him (which I didn't).
When she reached out a month ago after saying she "missed me most days," we apologized to each other for various things and were talking almost daily, having fun, sharing videos. She texted that she thinks she is "not capable of love" and "I don't feel fit for anyone at this point." I know not to push her on those things, even if I still love her. I'm cool with just being a friend and even told her that if she ever changed her mind and if she felt comfortable, I'm more than willing to try for us to be together again.We eventually met up for lunch last week and had a good time, talking about hanging out again and going to a couple of concerts. I texted her a few days ago seeing how she was doing, but she responded that things were "going." I messaged her again yesterday, asking if she was having a good day. If she was, then I was glad, and if not, here was a video to try to cheer her up. There was no response.I don't want to push her or make her feel uncomfortable. In fact, I just want to be there and support her as much as I can. I've tried reading as much as I can about BPD, but I would love the insight of people who have it. What should I do to support her without being pushy and risk her going silent? I went three years without talking to her and don't want to see that happen again. Thanks in advance. TL;DR: Reconnected and met with my ex who has BPD. She hasn't responded in a couple of days—when should I reach out again Title: Re: What to do when she has been quiet for the last few days Post by: BlueNavigator on July 24, 2025, 07:54:41 PM It sounds like you've made it clear that you're available and interested. You are reaching out and have explicitly stated you would like to get back together.
For her part, she has stated she is not capable of that right now and, for the moment, is not responding to your messages. Just a question, if a friend of yours was sharing this information with you, what would you think? If a friend told you he was messaging an ex-girlfriend of his that he still loved and she was declining a relationship, sending vague/short replies, or ignoring his messages--what would you say to that friend? |