BPDFamily.com

I'm going to tell a small tale. I hope it resonates with you:

After walking on eggshells for too much time, I was losing myself. Whenever we had a conversation I ended up thinking "did I say something that could trigger another episode in the coming days?" I couldn't focus, I didn't sleep well, I lived with anxiety most of the time. My boundaries were sabotaged on a daily basis. I wasn't seen for who I was, nor heard. It was never about the both of us, but only her. Whenever I expressed my needs and wants, I was blamed for being selfish and abusive, for not listening. I was accused and blamed for things I never said nor did. One day, she wanted to break up with me again. It was the second time in six months. I defended myself during and argument that she made up and she wasn't feeling it the same ever since. "I never thought you could be like that! You threatened me" I was painted black. I was like all of her abusive ex's. I couldn't stand more abuse. Being accused for threatening someone is too much, when it wasn't true at all. So I spoke up. I gently told her that her bahaviour wasn't okay, that it wasn't normal and she needed therapy. That I wasn't the one to always blame for her emotional state. That it wasn't my responsibility and she had to work on herself instead of me being her punching bag. She started to cry like a child, acted defensive and started to say things that I didn´t say, like me having called her a bad person. "Do you really think that about me?" she screamed in agony. This time, she claimed that I disrespected her and she no longer felt comfortable around me. That she didn't feel heard nor seen, nor understood. She left. I feel terrible about myself for speaking up and trying to find a solution,  I was left feeling guilty. I gave everything I had, I lost myself in the process, but I was the villain, the bad guy. I'm still trying to make sense of what happened. Does it have any sense?

The end.