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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: Versant on August 28, 2025, 02:56:17 PM



Title: How to combat parental alienation after divorce
Post by: Versant on August 28, 2025, 02:56:17 PM
I am seriously considering separation from my BPDw.

One of the things that frightens me the most in doing this is, to what extend she would be willing and capable of damaging my relationship with our children.

She has made threats a few times. Once she even made a chilling and a little over-the-top dramatic declaration: "I will make our child the instrument of my vengeance." Also, she has accused me of trying to damage her relationship with the children - something I'd never do, but I fear this accusation is an indication where her heads at and what she's prone to do.

I've seen that she can reliably act in the best interest of the children... As long as she doesn't feel she's been wronged in some way, then she can lose the ability to see that going after a grudge is not in the best interests of the children.

All in all, I think that this is a serious concern. I've read some really sad stories about parents succesfully turning the children against a parent, and also about cases where that doesn't happen but the children suffer for the attempt.

My question is this. How much can I do to prevent this? Preferably I'd like to convince (or force) my wife not to even try, but at the very least I'd like to minimize the harm she can cause.

Any good advice, any good materials to go look at?