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Title: Did I just got charmed? Post by: Bennyblanco_nl on September 03, 2025, 09:36:27 AM Ok, so this happened to me this Saturday, I was asleep at 01:15 AM when I got a call from my exwPBD after she discarded me and went NC for two months.
I answered the phone and asked why she called after two months of NC, she said she felt bad because her uncle attempted suicide. We kept on talking for an hour and a half into the night about all sorts of things. (Before she discarded me she had a strong kid wish, I told her I didn’t want kids anymore at my age (52).) So, the day after the phone call, the next day we met for a few hours and I said, ok I will go all-inn with you and have a kid with you (just to see her reaction) It was like she paniced, the day after she said we probably shouldn’t had this conversation at that hour while having some alcohol. She then said we should start from scratch again if it would ever happen to get together again. After that I haven’t heard a thing from here since. My question is, did I scare her with my reaction tot go all-inn or what? Was this a typical charm attempt of her, and why did it last this short? And will she now charm again? Title: Re: Did I just got charmed? Post by: Bennyblanco_nl on September 03, 2025, 09:39:24 AM Ok, so this happened to me this Saturday, I was asleep at 01:15 AM when I got a call from my exwPBD after she discarded me and went NC for two months. I answered the phone and asked why she called after two months of NC, she said she felt bad because her uncle attempted suicide. We kept on talking for an hour and a half into the night about all sorts of things. (Before she discarded me she had a strong kid wish, I told her I didn’t want kids anymore at my age (52).) So, the day after the phone call, the next day we met for a few hours and I said, ok I will go all-inn with you and have a kid with you (just to see her reaction) It was like she paniced, the day after she said we probably shouldn’t had this conversation at that hour while having some alcohol. She then said we should start from scratch again if it would ever happen to get together again. After that I haven’t heard a thing from here since. My question is, did I scare her with my reaction tot go all-inn or what? Was this a typical charm attempt of her, and why did it last this short? And will she now charm again? Title: Re: Did I just got charmed? Post by: Me88 on September 03, 2025, 02:45:04 PM lol it seems the auto-correct gods haven't allowed the word h-0-0-ver to be used again.
Yes it was. And of course, a horrendous emergency, per usual. To make you feel bad and be her emotional regulator/caregiver. You shouldn't have answered. The kid thing was a way of making you a bad guy and not 'supporting' her...then when you did, the goal posts moved once more. Probably had a failed rebound relationship or is feeling alone and abandoned. Then she disappears again when she gets her supply. Seems pretty typical to me. Title: Re: Did I just got charmed? Post by: Bennyblanco_nl on September 04, 2025, 03:01:37 AM Yep, charmed should have been H-oov-er-ed
Title: Re: Did I just got charmed? Post by: once removed on September 06, 2025, 02:04:30 PM it isnt autocorrect :(
it was an attempt made, many years ago, to help simplify emotionally difficult and confusing situations, like this one, without internet slang and drama, and greater confusion. this will help explain: https://tinyurl.com/msy424jb Excerpt (Before she discarded me she had a strong kid wish, I told her I didn’t want kids anymore at my age (52).) to be clear, did she break up with you over the fact that she strongly desires kids, and you dont? Excerpt we met for a few hours and I said, ok I will go all-inn with you and have a kid with you (just to see her reaction) It was like she paniced, the day after she said we probably shouldn’t had this conversation i dont think you need to pathologize this with made up internet slang. i think it would help to examine this as a relationship that, for both of you, has been too hard to stay, too hard to leave, that finally collapsed under its own weight. Excerpt I told her if she wanted kids, then she had to look for that happiness elsewhere, but not with me. she had a strong desire for kids. you had a strong desire for no kids. right? thats a major, glaring incompatibility. a common, everyday relationship killer. in spite of that, you both remained in the relationship. it happens. people stick around in relationships that are mostly good, hoping major incompatibilities will either go away, or that the other person will change. generally, they dont; they strain the relationship over time. that lesson, learning to spot a dead end, incompatible relationship, is a big one for many of us to learn. Excerpt Things startened to worsen with arguments now on a weekly bases, still out of the blue and out of proportions. Though she could be very kindhearted as well, that was the strange part. After 8 months she broke up with me, everything was my fault, U didn’t changed at all she said. it sounds like the strained relationship came to a head; something had to give, and it did. Excerpt she suddenly said ‘I am pregnant’. My world and live goals collaped, how in earth could we have a kid in this toxic environment. She had an abortion, and is blamed me for it. this is a relationship shattering event. it rocked your world to learn, and it rocked her world even more to go through. Excerpt she demanded that I gave up my house, which I just build, and she demanded that she was above my family, said she had to be number one. I sais she went too far with that and I walked away. I got a text from her, in which she said ‘it’s enough’. she was making an ultimatum. a final plea for commitment you werent prepared to give. you told her you werent prepared to give it. she cut her losses, and left. Excerpt we met for a few hours and I said, ok I will go all-inn with you and have a kid with you (just to see her reaction) what type of reaction were you expecting? you feigned a dramatic change of heart and sudden willingness to commit that you were unwilling to make for the nearly 2 years of your relationship. just to see how shed react? is that a h-oo-ver? :( Excerpt the day after she said we probably shouldn’t had this conversation at that hour while having some alcohol. do you think its possible that she saw this dramatic and sudden change of heart you had been unwilling to make, and, after getting her hopes about it, saw it for what it was, and cooled her jets? and that by making no further moves, you confirmed her skepticism? Excerpt Was this a typical charm attempt of her, and why did it last this short? And will she now charm again? this is someone that still has feelings for you, but wants more commitment than you are prepared to give. it is someone that it sounds like you have conflicted feelings for yourself. it is a relationship of two people with different wants and needs, who now hold a great deal of resentment and distrust toward the other. what do you want to see happen going forward? |