BPDFamily.com

I’m here to explore and learn. My child, who I’ll refer to as my loved one, has traits but no BPD diagnosis. Not sure about difference between big emotions and these traits. But self harming behaviors are a part of it—but not suicidal. They are in a program full time but these programs are far from perfect. I want to support them Im building a bigger commitment to their recovery and the treatment—but they pick and choose what they disclose in their progrsm

Hello and welcome.  I'm so sorry you're going through this and I'm glad you found the family here.  I walked this path with my BPD daughter as well and it's definitely trying.

Your child is in full time therapy (which is great) and you want to help, which is admirable.  We all want/wanted that.  But the truth of the matter is that mental health is a personal journey that we all must face alone, on our own terms.  Maybe your kid is learning some really good stuff, or maybe they're sitting there doodling on a notebook the entire session.  We have no idea, and there's nothing we can do to change that.  The therapist will meet them wherever they're at to build a relationship with them that allows the chance for help when they're ready for it.

So what can you do?  Learn more about BPD and specifically, how to better communicate and keep healthy boundaries within the home.  Teaching right from wrong is so critical for those with BPD because it becomes their moral compass.  They're terrible with social cues and often fail to realize how awkward they can be around others.  That's why boundaries and great communication are so important, you're preparing your child for the real world and "walking on eggshells" because they're sick does more harm than good.

You'll get through this- all of us have.  It takes time and patience.  Please let us know if you have any specific questions, and please shar a little more of your child's story (when you first expected mental illness, why they're in therapy now, etc).