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Title: What the hell happened? Post by: fellix22 on October 18, 2025, 04:43:26 PM First- Hi everyone! I am new to this sub! :) Let's give you some background about my situation: I have been...dealing with my long-distance uBPD girlfriend for one year and a month. As you can guess, we've been on and off a lot. However, in the last three months or so, I thought she was really changing for better as she'd gone too far and I was so mad that I had her blocked for two weeks and during that time, I learned how to have my act together, especially with her. Now, here comes the reason for this post- four days ago, as we were texting, she sent me a photo of something, I don't remember what because my messages are set to auto-delete after 24 hours, but it was something in her room which was concealed by a ''Paint'' brush, and said: ''You are not gonna see it hehe'', and I replied ''Ehh you are awful! :D''. Here's how the rest of our conversation went: Her- I am awful? Me- Yes, you won't let me see it, how dare you? :* Her- Literally everyone has it in their own room Me- I was joking Her- But I wasn't. I am awful after all, am I not? Me- Oh, God... Her- I can't believe you called me or would ever call me ''awful'' Me- Listen, you know pretty good what I meant by this because that was the most innocent joke possible. I am done with walking on eggshells. If you find something wrong in my joke, it's you, not me. *Two hours later...... Her- Yeah, I overreacted. Me- As always Her- It's not always Me- Fair enough. As expected* Her- I admitted to overreacting. There's nothing else I can do for you. (Also her) Besides, if this is bothering you, you can always find someone who doesn't overreact ''as always/as expected''. Me- Oookay... Her- It's always a problem when I don't like something but never when you don't! Me- Alright, I got it. Neither she has reached out since, nor have I. Title: Re: What the hell happened? Post by: kells76 on November 01, 2025, 12:29:55 AM Hi there fellix22 and welcome to the group :hi:
As you've experienced, "normal range" communication isn't always effective in relationships where there might be BPD. "Typical" jokes just don't seem to go well, etc. Not easy stuff to navigate, that's for sure. You mention your GF is undiagnosed (uBPD) -- what led you to suspect BPD? How did the two of you meet? Do you spend much time in person together? When was the first breakup, and what was it about? Clearly there must be a lot you love and appreciate about her, despite the difficulties, so given that it sounds like you want the relationship to work, it's important to know that leveling up your communication and listening skills will be critical for success. Not easy, but definitely possible. When you have some time, click around the site, and check out our "tips" and "tools" sections up top to start diving into deeper learning. ... What would you say is the main conflict you two have? |