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Title: How to approach? Post by: Butterfly29 on February 12, 2017, 12:37:36 PM Confused as to why my relationship with someone I love and care very deeply for continues to result in constant battle and turmoil, I started researching symptoms of his behavior, which in my eyes, is extreme at times.
I came across articles about bipolar disorder and narcissistic behavior... .some of which discribed some of his traits but not fully... .I then came across BPD and just about everything I read described what I go through with him, what I see in him, scenarios, feelings on both ends; almost identical... .all which has lead me to believe he may be suffering from this diagnosis. It's made me now question whether to just walk away as I had decided was the only thing left to do or try and help him and work things out if possible. But because of the nature of his sensitivity, I have no clue how to approach this with him or suggest this may be what he's experiencing. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Title: Re: How to approach? Post by: Mutt on February 12, 2017, 08:37:52 PM Hi Butterfly29,
*welcome* I'd like to welcome you to bpdfamily. I can relate with how distressing I feel when there's chaos in the household, it can feel like you're walking on eggshells when the smallest thing gets blown way out of proportion. Learn was much as you can about the disorder, you'll quickly see the benefits and become proficient over time. A pwBPD are hyper sensitive to rejection and are constantly scanning for perceived or real rejection. A pwBPD also have low self esteem low self worth, self loath, feel more negative feelings then positive ones and are hyper critical on themselves, i'd like to think that the rigidness, negativity and criticism is also a part of their inner dialogue. A starting point could be to stop by conflict, I pwBPD need a lot of validation, that doesn't mean that we validate everything, don't validate the invalid, also, you can feel how you feel about it, it doesn't mean that you have to like it. Don't Be Invalidating (https://bpdfamily.com/content/communication-skills-dont-be-invalidating) Title: Re: How to approach? Post by: Aurylian on February 16, 2017, 07:03:54 PM Learn was much as you can about the disorder, you'll quickly see the benefits and become proficient over time. A pwBPD are hyper sensitive to rejection and are constantly scanning for perceived or real rejection. A pwBPD also have low self esteem low self worth, self loath, feel more negative feelings then positive ones and are hyper critical on themselves, i'd like to think that the rigidness, negativity and criticism is also a part of their inner dialogue. The tools you can learn here will help you be better informed and also help understanding yourself better. Now is a great time to study up. It will help in more areas of your life than you probably realize. Aury |