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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: AlleyOop23 on November 14, 2025, 03:00:59 AM



Title: Let go of the rope - advice on talking to the kids?
Post by: AlleyOop23 on November 14, 2025, 03:00:59 AM
Like the man on the bridge, holding onto the rope in the parable on here “The Bridge” I let go of the rope. There was a physical incident I went back to court and got a domestic violence protective order that includes no contact with the kids during my residential time unless they contact her.

Prior to getting the order I went no contact and didn’t tell anyone where I was. I left them cryptic messages because their mother was trying to use them to contact me.

My 15-year-old daughter has a therapist. My 13 year-old daughter does not.  We’ve tried and haven’t found one that fits.

They will be here tomorrow and I haven’t seen them in almost 2 weeks which is really unusual. They don’t know exactly what’s going on. I’m not sure exactly how to explain the rigid no contact separation and divorce. I wanna tell them enough so that I’m not lying, but I don’t want to alienate them from their mother.


Title: Re: Let go of the rope - advice on talking to the kids?
Post by: Notwendy on November 14, 2025, 05:26:05 AM
15 and 13- they've probably seen enough to know things are not OK. I also think they don't need to know too much. You could say you are following legal advice and you know it's not all clear to them, but that this is what the lawyers recommend. This makes the focus on an authority figure, not either parent. Reiterate that you love them and that this will get better once all is worked out.