BPDFamily.com

It’s been awhile since I’ve had a truly BPD experience with my SO but today was triggering.  My SO assumed from a facial expression that I didn’t want to do something.  I have zero idea what expression I made and I was looking forward to doing what I was asked about.  When I got angry at my SO jumping to conclusions, my SO doubled down on knowing exactly what I was thinking and that I was essentially lying about how I felt. 

All I wanted was to be heard, believed, and acknowledged that it was hurtful to assume something that wasn’t true. 

I looked back on here and over a decade ago I’d posted something very similar and how my SO jumping to conclusions about my thought process made me question my own reality. 

It has been a very rough year and I thought my SO was moving out of her BPD behaviors.  Now I think it’s that I simply have gotten good at not triggering them and sucking up my own feelings and tonight I couldn’t.   

This seems to be quite a common theme.
I too used to be accused of not wanting to do things because apparently my facial expressions told her I didn’t. She used to believe she could tell exactly what mood I was in by looking at my face. I even said to her once that I feel like I need a badge to wear each day with a happy face or a sad/pissedoff face to tell her what mood I was in.

That and if I ever breathed heavily I would be accused of huffing at her (I had a collapsed lung over a decade ago and had a section of lung removed so sometimes I exhale quite loudly) and she would then think I was pissed off with her when I wasn’t at all.

That’s not to say she was always wrong. It was a near 3 decade relationship, so at times she would do things that would make me huff, there were times I didn’t want to do something and my facial expression probably gave that away, but it gets draining when it is every bloody time they think they can read you like a physic and you have to argue with them about your own actual feelings.