BPDFamily.com

I’m new here and appreciate everyone sharing their stories. It’s helping me have even more clarity on what I need to do. My DD hasn’t been diagnosed with BPD or NPD, but I’ve been in therapy for a few years now and it’s something that my therapist highly suspects.

Even typing this up and being here makes me scared of the reaction I would get from my DD if she ever found out. Isn’t it crazy how we can live in such fear of our own child? As I’m healing I realize more and more what an absolutely insane journey this has been.

I don’t want to live like this anymore.

I refuse to do it.

I’ve lost so much of my life because of her. I’m finally seeing that and I feel like I’m in the process of grieving not only the loss of my child, but of all the years I’ve lost trying so desperately to rescue her. My other kids lost their mom because I was so preoccupied with their sister. I’d drop everything whenever she needed me.

No more.

I’ve finally gone NC and am committed to healing and getting stronger for my family and myself. Reading your stories makes me realize even more that I’m doing the right thing.

I just wanted to say hello and thank you all for creating a space where parents like us can come to share and help one another. And I’m so sorry you’re suffering, too.

Hi Choosing peace,


My udd is now 32yo but it started from a very early age. udd cried a lot as a baby. Always a very sensitive moody child who could literally cry all day but could never say what was actually say what was wrong. Then she began to make  up very fantastical stories and telling lies from a  very early age about people and the things she had supposedly done.

There were lots of problems with friendships groups once she started school. She was either jealous of them or accusing them of hurting her or creating some kind of drama to get them to fall out with each other. I have to add that I do believe that she was also bullied at some point which affected her self esteem quite badly. After the bullying and I changed her school she seemed to reinvent herself. She became a THE BULLY, her schoolwork suffered, became very secretive, began to rebel sneaking out at night, involvement in criminal activity and the obsession with boys leading to a teenage pregnancy. Towards me she has destroyed my personal property, stolen from me, been rude and disrespectful and physically and verbally abusive.

As you can imagine there is a lot more in between that I have left out. It has been a whirlwind for sure. :(

I dont think that I would have done things differently and know that I did my best. I got her therapy at quite an early age but she convinced the therapist that I was the problem. I continually tried to fix ways to fix the problems..... researching, and trying different techniques and ways to improve our r/s while udd made no effort at all and seemed to despise me the more for it.

I actually remember commenting on someones post some time ago that I never thought that I would find peace again until my own death, but with this estrangement Iam enjoying the feeling of having peace back in my life which I prayed for for years and never though that I would experience ever again.

I meant to also add how much finding this site has helped me. I first found this site when udd was 14yrs old and perhaps at her worse and the members here helped me through some of the toughest times of my life. Imagine if this was paid therapy. I would be bankrupt right now  lol . Outsiders dont get it, they can believe the stories, but the members here know it is true.

I have taken breaks and have come back through the years and it has been invaluable to my own mental health....so keep posting Choosing Peace. We are here to support you.

Thank you. To finally find other people who understand and get it is such a relief. Nobody knows, even as well-intentioned and educated as they may be, what it’s truly like to be the mother of someone with this behavior, and even then our stories are unique to us.

To love someone so deeply and pour everything you have into them, and  give them the best life possible, only to be abused in the most cruel ways in the end, is a heartache I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

I now know that the only way to find any true peace is to let her go and live my life. She is an adult and can choose to heal  if and when she’s ready. Until then, I’m walking away and will do my best not to look back.