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My family member has seen a doctor regarding pain. She has Dr shopped for years and I thought this could finally be the one then suddenly he said something and he's off the books too.
It's a situation where she needs medical intervention but she never follows through though. I'm living with her but I'm not giving any more suggestions unless asked . Today she had an anger rage episode so bad that if I'd heard my neighbour making that noise I'd call the police. I kept calm, affirmed and didn't get upset and I'm not upset now. Please tell me if you have had situations such as this.

The rage episodes are all too familiar. Congratulations on your ability to not get upset yourself. Would be great to break down for yourself what you did that worked and be ready to continue using it when needed.

Congratulations on taking care of yourself! My mother with BPD had episodes of rage. I learned the hard way there was nothing I could do to prevent the episodes or to calm her down except get out of the way.

One way to deal with it is to not expose yourself to the rages.  Of course, you can't always sense when they're about to start, but once they do then you can try to exit to give them time to calm down and reset.  Can you find a way to go to another room or exit without angering them more?

This is related to Boundaries which appear as a couple of topics on our |---> Tools & Skills Workshops  (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=329744.0)board.  There are other communication skills discussed there.  Some approaches such as JADE (Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain) don't work well at all during an emotional ragefest since the other isn't usually responsive to logic.  Better skillsets are BIFF, SET, DEARMAN, etc.