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Title: need thoughts on decision I need to make Post by: beatup on May 29, 2026, 12:07:54 AM I have finally finished a family scrapbook. I am NC with bpdsis & her daughter. My original intent was to send copies to my niece(in care of my sister, so she could see it too) plus 2 nephews. I am having 2nd thoughts about sending 1 to my niece. I don't think I will regret it if I don't send it. I don't think my sister will even care like my brother does. Also, I don't want her to think it is an open door to re-establish contact. Would sending it be the right thing to do? I just don't know what to do.
Thanks for reading. Title: Re: need thoughts on decision I need to make Post by: Notwendy on May 29, 2026, 09:19:29 AM Is this the niece you are NC with? Or the sister of the one you are NC with (along with her mother)
This is one complication of going NC with a family member- how to stay connected with other family members that are connected to the one you are NC with. I didn't go NC with my BPD mother but she at times would be angry at me and align other family members to "her side". My aim with these other family members was to not put them in a position to choose or be in the middle. I didn't engage in emotional topics with them. Also to not come between parents/children and between spouses. Here- if you send this to a niece-c/o her mother who you are NC with, it's involving the person you are NC with. For me, that's a no, not because I wouldn't want the niece to have it, but it would involve possible drama with the mother who you know will see it. Especially if the niece is a minor and/or living at home. It's also possible if her mother gets it first, the niece will never receive it. Her mother may feel angry and keep it from her. I assume you are printing these since there are several copies. What I would do if it were me would be to make a copy for the niece but hold on to it myself and when she's older, on her own with her own place to keep it- give it to her directly. |