BPDFamily.com

So, im really into music. My BPD partner is also. We find our connection through music. We even play instruments together.

Anyway I was thinking about this forum and all the stories I read and all the people on here ,some wanting to save what they have and other wanting to leave it and I saw so many similar stories to my own.

Ive know my partner since we were young and even as friends we struggled but that one thing that connects us has become such a huge part of my life. I want to share that connection with everyone here. Music is my therapist when I cant see my normal one. I can find a song for every mood, or feeling.

My partner and I are coming  off another fight and I keep wondering why I go back why each time I find myself right there. Its an additiction I think ...to love someone with BPD to really care about them and want them its amazing and also just terrible. 

Its a ________in drag... but you keep going back. Idk at least its how I feel about it some times. Hes so amazing and I love him so much but he can be the worst monster of my nightmares too.

To get to my point songs can say alot ...and ultimately id like to make a whole Playlist on what it feels like to love someone with BPD.

This song stands out to me though

Nicotine by Panic ! At the Disco.

https://youtu.be/LkBxcmxWKAA?si=8qYY-jFgujpX8qPV

I hope all of you can listen and let me know if it fits your experience.. or if you have song ideas from your own experience  id love to hear them . Id really like to make this list .

I think most of us are into our music in one way or another. I've been a musician all my lifr so it's a;ways been particularly relevant to me but commercial music has always influenced my life.

I always associate a particular song with a particular time in my life. When I hear Bachman Turner Overdrive's 'You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet' I'm instantly transported back to my 70's self aged 17. with platform-soled shoes, multicoloured tank tops, drinking vodka & lime and discos.. and all the girls were gorgeous in that time :)

This explains why, though I love rock, punk and metal, I can also often play the cheesiest pop song if I was having a good time when I first heard it; the music connects to your brain and puts a bookmark there, be it good time or bad.

Of course, the reverse also applies and songs from bad times always take me back too but not in a nice way. I can be sarcastic with music - I remember my exBPD not talking to me (as usual) and I was sick of her so I put The Tremeloes 'Silence Is Golden' on the jukebox, followed by Cliff's 'We Don't Talk Any More' and Simon & Garfunkel's 'The Sound Of Silence'.  She didn't take it too well but then BPD's have no concept of sarcasm.

Be interesting to see how other people here relate music to their life.

I love those ones they are great choices mine gives me the silent treatment whenever he feels like it but if I do... watch out . Im gonna use those for my play list I love that. I hope I get more from the group id love to see whay songs helped people heal or deal with that part of their life. Or if they are going through it now like me . Whats weird is I know ..my partner would love thos idea.

Sometimes music can be too powerful. Play Billy Joel's 'An Innocent Man' from 1984 and it always makes me crash and burn because the lyrics related to my BPD g/f at the time.. her inability to trust anyone and how hard I tried to make her see I really was genuine. Have a listen, the lyrics really hit home, especially if you're with a BPD partner.

I have a section on my little media player with all the songs from '84 - '88 when I knew her, some will trigger the rare happy times and others will remind me of when she broke up with me yet again.  All those years ago yet I still play them and think of her, or at least I try to think of the happy times.

Sometimes I press 'skip' when Billy Joel comes on though lol

I had songs like that .. that i skip because of him .. but im adding this.  One to my list . Im really happy people are sharing them . Its awesome

Look on YT for 'Dean Friedman Lucky Stars'.. from 1978 and though I wasn't with anyone with BPD then, it certainly can relate now.

I'd forgotten how good a song this was.

The connection of our life situations to music is so true.

When I was nearly 20 I had a crush that went nowhere on a local girl and every time I hear Wings' "Band on the Run" I am reminded.

Then another crushed crush memory sung to Chic's "Le Freak".

My ex?  Not sure if I have any.  Maybe some uncommon Reggae tunes with our matching "Don't Worry, Be Happy" t-shirts during our courting days?