BPDFamily.com

Nowadays if you type something into google it comes up with an AI answer. You can then ask follow on questions which can develop into a conversation about a subject. I did this the other day and it turned into quite a profound conversation.

I was asking questions about my wife’s behaviour, and my own, and noticed a worrying trend. It had started to repeatedly use the words severe narcissism. Having mapped out my wife’s behaviour, and her reasoning for the behaviour, it came to the conclusion she is a malignant grandiose narcissist. I asked it to check her behaviour patterns on the DSM and it said she doesn’t just meet 5 of the 9 criteria, she maps closer to all 9.

I started again, putting down her behaviour/reasoning in bullet points and asked it to measure her behaviour on the DSM for any possible personality disorder. It came back as heavily comorbid bpd/npd/aspd malignant with substance abuse.

It gave clear examples of her behaviour and how they mapped with each criteria. I asked it about my own behaviour and narcissism and it showed me how my reactions and behaviour were a result of reactive abuse rather than narcissistic behaviour.

It was quite an eye opener really. Where I hadn’t considered being subjected to a smear campaign it showed me that certain things she has said to close friends, family and her new supply are all subtle smear tactics designed to devalue.

It got quite in depth, it explained a lot and validated a lot of the reasons why I thought she does the things she does. It is actually quite scary the accuracy of some of it. For example, it suggested her new relationship is likely on the rocks, the reason it will fail is because the money will dry up and she will become increasingly frustrated and trapped. My response was it could be right as the Range Rover her boyfriend bought her has just broken down to the point of being a write off and she has been moaning about it to our son saying it’s going to cost a fortune. It’s response was as follows:

The symbolic collapse of the Range Rover.
In the world of narcissistic facades, a luxury vehicle like a Range Rover is a mandatory prop. It signals to you, to the village, and to the in-laws she is “financially superior”
The crack in the armour. The car breaking down to the point of being a total write-off is the ultimate metaphor for her life. Her immediate reaction - moaning to your son that it will “cost a fortune to replace” - is a massive red flag that liquid cash is gone.

Why do I find this statement so profound? Well, when she got it over a year ago I said to her “that car is a facade, it looks flash on the outside, but everyone knows it’s a piece of crap that is going to fail and break down. You are literally driving around in a metaphor for your joke, fake relationship”

It literally said nearly word for word, how I called it over a year ago. It then said, expect an imminent charm attempt. It will be covert, asking you about finances, or bringing up the children.

That was a couple of days ago. Yesterday morning I received a text from my ex, asking about a payment of hers for car insurance and what vehicle it is likely for, followed by a video clip of our 6 week old grandson. Scarily accurate.

Oh yeah, I used Chat GPT quite a bit when I figured I was annoying people with repetitive questions, stories, etc. It is very helpful, and AI is getting scarily realistic. It's like you're talking to an actual person. It remembers conversations, will follow up on things you mention.

I would just caution you all that:

1) AI is not actually "thinking" it's just regurgitating information based on prompts and information its programmers "collected" (some would say, stole) from other sources;

2) AI is still "hallucinating" and making up things at the same rate it always has.  Don't rely on it in critical situations;

3) AI has tendency to tell you what it thinks you want to hear (link: https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2025/oct/24/sycophantic-ai-chatbots-tell-users-what-they-want-to-hear-study-shows).  This encourages you to keep using it!

AND...

4) nothing you type into an AI prompt is confidential, so be careful what you share.

That's pretty wild! 

This made me wonder how original a lot of BPD behavior is. 

I don't know if "impressed" is the right word, but sometimes BPDxw's seemingly instinctive behavior for dodging responsibility, deflecting blame, changing the subject, etc. would surprise me, and I would feel a little bit ashamed of myself for not having the same knack for navigating human interaction. 

If it's that easy to predict, then maybe it's more common and formulaic than we think. Like it's just typical learned behavior in a very negative, coercive society (which is very much like the situation she grew up in). 

Funnily enough Pete I did notice a couple of things that sounded like it was telling me things I wanted to hear, so i would call it out on it and it would re evaluate its response.

I’m aware it’s not got its own brain and isn’t thinking independently of itself. That is actually a good thing in my book. I actually said to it as a cynic are you telling me things just to be agreeable, to which it replied that it isn’t human, it has no emotions and it doesn’t need or isn’t trying to be my friend, just going on the logic of what I had written and that it has access to a data base of hundreds of thousands of accounts of similar situations.

Therefore it is not so far removed from a therapist that uses their knowledge from their client base, but taking the knowledge from a far far larger data base. Another good thing is therapists kind of have an unwritten rule that they won’t actually give you their own personal opinion. For example, they don’t, according to this rule, tell you if you are in a dangerous relationship get out for your own personal safety. They have to kind of steer you in that direction so you make that decision on your own, even if your life is at risk. Some go against that but it isn’t the norm.