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Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD => Topic started by: JsMom on July 16, 2026, 06:43:58 PM



Title: How do you live life not solely focus on the pwbpd - yet still care & love them?
Post by: JsMom on July 16, 2026, 06:43:58 PM
As background. At the time being I'm not being contacted by my swubpd in a crisis. In fact he will even call just to say hi which is wonderful.  His life is stable and he's managing ok as far as I know. I don't pry like I used to. He's a single Dad and at 45 the big dramas have so far been more spaced out than the daily drama through his teen years and 20's. In his life there has been suicide attempts, physical violence with knives, hospital stays, running away, homelessness, police calls... Thankfully, it seems for quite a long while those worst days are behind him. He's had success in his work and puts effort into being the best dad he can be. .
Still - I have struggled with not living in fear daily, waiting for the next crisis. I'm doing better than a month ago on managing my anxiety and even doing hobbies that I enjoy yet abandoned years ago.
Initially I thought to ask you all - how do you prepare yourself for the next wave. Now I wonder if it's not about looking and waiting for it. Instead, being solid in what my boundaries are, getting the therapy that's supporting me, checking in here on the board and practicing living a my life not focused on one person.
I know my thoughts to prepare myself were to protect my heart from hurting. I believe that  if/when I'm faced with not rescuing my son, my heart will hurt. It'll be painful.  I will survive and get stronger and by the grace of God he will too.
I think about all the families here that are going through such horribly difficult times. I hope you're taking advantage of support available, this disease is brutal. And I hope you see improvements as they come, even if small.