BPDFamily.com

I just don't know what to do anymore and I'm lost. I love her, and I want to do what I can to find a better way, but I've tried anything and I don't know how much more I can take. I try and try and try, and I know I make mistakes but it's never enough. My best days aren't enough to fix it. I keep losing more and more of my sanity. I don't even know what's what with how she treats me. She told me she has BPD, diagnosed and everything, but she also talks to me so cold, calculated, claims she's not having some episode but is being fully honest and truthful. I just don't know what to do, I'm losing my mind and I can't take it anymore. I just want things to go back to what they were, I can't lose this after everything I've sacrificed, I can't have my son grow up in a separated household like I had to. I don't know what to do please please for the love of God please what can I do!?

The big questions are... Is she currently in meaningful therapy?  If so, is she applying what the therapist recommends in her life, perceptions and behavior?  Is she willing to do so for however long it take to see improvement, even if it takes years?

In short, something has to change since you're at your limit.  So... if she doesn't or won't change then it's up to you to change the scenario.

Just a guess, but it sounds like she has told you she is/has BPD and, more or less, take her as she is?


Many here have faced your dilemma... a life-changing choice with children part of the equation.

Choice A:  Continue the marriage or relationship so the child had both parents in the same home.  Problem: Child does not have a reasonably normal home environment.

Choice B:  Try therapy to have the marriage or relationship improve and if not then end the adult relationship.  Court system assigns details of custody, Parenting schedule, vacations, exchanges, etc.  Problem:  Child goes between two homes where (as a benefit) one home is reasonably normal.

Neither choice is automatically good or bad.  Many factors are to be considered.