BPDFamily.com

Hello, wife is threatening to divorce if we don't move into a new house that is too expensive for us, we are both unemployed and we live on family financial help, family currently pays some of our bills like rent, and this new house would be double of our current rent cost.

It is the same pattern as always, she says once we move in there we will have money (magically), no matter how much explaining from me that we can't afford that and we have no evidence that we will have the enormous amount of money that would be required for this to be a financially responsible decision, there are other cheaper houses but she insists on the more expensive ones due to them being prettier.

We have one small kid, and this is what hurts me the most.

She always pressed me into decisions like this, for example moving in with just a few months of relationship instead of dating for longer, and so on.

On her work side, she made bad decisions finance wise and now is paying for them, I refused to pay these crisis money for her, now she wants to apply the same decision framework that money will magically appear even without evidence that it will, at least not in the amount she wants.

I'm reading "Stop walking on eggshells", I felt super tempted to give in just to keep us together but honestly giving in is what brought us to financial ruin at first, alongside some other bad decisions from me as well, so I'm exercising my right to say "no".
But it hurts!

I am even having physical symptons, like going too much to the bathroom to do the "number 2", due to persisting on my "no" after the threat.

I fear for our kid, the most.

She says that I will pay a lot either for that rent or for child support and ex-wife support.

I wish we could live a responsible and disciplined life, would solve most of our problems, and I will do so myself, even if it means a divorce, as I tried to live in the maelstrom of her emotions and I ruined myself doing it, compromising even our family's survival.