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Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD => Topic started by: onetiredmomma on September 30, 2026, 02:21:30 PM



Title: Daughter reporting me to the police
Post by: onetiredmomma on September 30, 2026, 02:21:30 PM
I had to kick my daughter out about a month ago for behaviors that are putting me and my other kids in danger. She will be 19 in December. We have put her in to treatment centers, hospitals, substance abuse groups, until she turned 18. Her behaviors continue to escalate: Using multiple substances, making very risky sexual choices, and being extremely verbally abusive to me. Yesterday, four police officers showed up at my house. My daughter had called them to do a welfare check telling them that I was drinking, doing drugs, experiencing mania, and threatening suicide. NONE of this is true and the cops seem unconcerned. When I confronted her about it she screamed in to her phone: "sit down and shut the F#$* up. Buckle your seatbelt, put on your big girl pants and stop acting like a pathetic teenage girl" With a lot of other horrible words and name calling thrown in for good measure. I do NOT understand, no  matter how much I read, and boundaries I try to set, she is bound and determined to punish me. I did disconnect her cell service, but beyond cutting her completley out for a while, I do not know what to do! Any advice?


Title: Re: Daughter reporting me to the police
Post by: ForeverDad on September 30, 2026, 03:59:02 PM
Yesterday, four police officers showed up at my house. My daughter had called them to do a welfare check telling them that I was drinking, doing drugs, experiencing mania, and threatening suicide. NONE of this is true and the cops seem unconcerned.

This is, to a large extent, sheer projection of her own life.   While it does not make sense to relatively normal people like us, in her mind and her perceptions its okay that she retaliates with such vitriol and vehemence.

I am concerned that her claims may trigger investigations into the parenting of your other children.  Not that there is basis, but the various agencies involved probably have policies to investigate even unsubstantiated allegations.  Be aware.  Beware of even your own daughter.  This is beyond just discord and rebellion.  She has driven the conflict to a higher level by involving the police and perhaps social services in the future.

When I confronted her about it she screamed in to her phone: "sit down and shut the F#$* up. Buckle your seatbelt, put on your big girl pants and stop acting like a pathetic teenage girl" With a lot of other horrible words and name calling thrown in for good measure.

Honestly, looking back, why were you expecting a rational response?  Of course, you are not her enemy, but she has cast you as that in her own mind.

If you are paying anything else besides phones, such as internet, rent, car insurance, food, etc then be prepared you may need to end all financial aid to her since it may be enabling her to sabotage you.

Realistically, you may need to sever contact with her, for your own protection and your other children's protection.  You may decide to record any future contact so that you have proof (1) you didn't do anything wrong and (2) you weren't the aggressive one.