BPDFamily.com

I had a close ex-friend / co-worker who I suspect is borderline and has devalued and discarded me.  She is giving me the silent treatment and I can see she is very uncomfortable when I am in the vicinity.  One of the reasons is possibly because I have seen behind the mask(s) she wears and doesn't want to talk to me about it.  However with everyone else in the office and even friends outside where her mask(s) is still intact, she acts quite normally, ie. happy, chatty, etc.

Just a wondering what everyone's experience is with observing such contrast in personalities with and without the borderline mask(s)?  Are they that good at hiding their condition to the outside world despite feelings of self-loathing, insecurities, etc?

Mine was. From a distance she would appear to be a very good person. She has very strange ideas regarding expectations for the man in her life and feeling it is ok to abuse them routinely. She was ruthless at times and would then say: "everyone gets hollered at now and then". But it was much nastier than just a little hollering.

Many times I told her that if she treated her co-workers the way she treated me, she would be fired, or if she treated her friends like she treated me, she wouldn't have any friends. Her response was that everyone just acts polite in public but that she was in an intimate rs with me so I got to see the real her. I can tell you that the real her was an absolute horror!

People that know her only from a distance wouldn't believe how she really is.

I can only speak to my experience, but my exBPDgf was a master at hiding herself to others, especially at work. I recall one instance where she was keeping the score book, and I was keeping the clock at a middle school basketball game. She made a tiny mistake (no big deal to a nonBPD person) that totally destroyed her... .she started to hysterically cry in front of the players (her students) and the parents and then got up and sprinted behind the stage curtain, sobbing. It was a sad sight to behold, for sure. There were also times that she revealed her anger, but she typically was more emotional to the point of crying... .and she hated talking to parents... .generally all staff, students and parents knew she was a cryer... .so many walked on egg shells around her. Her family had a nickname for her: faucet. Because she cried all the time... .

But I did have married male teacher friends with excellent spider senses who identified her "crazy gene" immediately... .and avoided her like the plague. Unfortunately, my spider-sense was not as sharp... .

But when people first met her or did not know her well, she came across as the sweetest, kindest person... .it's a real tragedy