BPDFamily.com

Hello All,

What brought me here is growing up with a parent who, as I can now understand, has Borderline Personality Disorder.  It's been about 2 months since I have taken a deep dive into the world of this disorder. Though it had been brought to my attention when I was about 17, it wasn't until these last few months that I decided to take action, for a better life for myself, and hopefully my family.

I am always thankful for those that share their stories, experiences and advice because without it there is no progress. My best to everyone no matter where they are in their journey

Hi Turned Leaf! 

Welcome to our online family. You will find lots of other members here who can relate to your story. Thank you for sharing a bit of it with us. You mentioned hearing about BPD first when you were 17. How long ago was that when you first heard the possibility? There is definitely quite a new world of understanding to be gained once you realize what it is to be raised by someone with BPD.

Can you tell us a little bit more about what it was like for you as you were growing up? Do you have siblings? What types of behaviors did you notice as being BPD?

There is a great column to the right which gives a lot of helpful information. Any sentence you click on will expand into a much larger explanation. Where do you find yourself in the list?

Looking forward to hearing more from you!
Wools

Hello and thank you for your reply! 

When I was 17 I was having a lot of panic attacks in high school directly due to me getting to a boiling point with my mother who I believe has BPD (she hasn't been diagnosed). My normal counselor at the time wasn't in one day I had a panic attack and I happened to speak with another one. When I told my story to her she told me about BPD.  At that point I still felt hopeless and didn't think I had any power to make a difference in the life of my family. I have a father and two older brothers, who despite ignoring the behavior of my mother, are still the greatest people in my life. Fast forward,  I am 31 now. About 2 months ago I was reading a blog about being raised by a narcissist, and that was usually on my phone. I started googling the website on my actual computer I started typing "raised by... ." and auto-fill completed it with  "borderline" My jaw dropped. I found a blog about being raised by someone with BPD. That's when my journey really began.  I began simply googling BPD and found this site (which I know I haven't taken full advantage of yet).  Since then I can't describe the weight that's been lifted, the new sense of self and empowerment I have.

I've never been exited about something in my whole life. Because for the first time I really believe in myself. I never had a sense of self worth because of growing up with my mom (as I'm sure a lot of people understand) And though I knew in my brain that she was the one with the issue, I still needed my heart to believe it. And I can finally say my heart is catching up.

The main symptoms of my mom were anger, what I know have come to learn as "splitting", and the constant blame of everyone else but her.  I felt I NEVER did the right thing growing up. I'd turn left, she said I should have gone right, I go right but she found something wrong with that too. I longed for my mothers approval for so long only to realize this wasn't possible. Educating myself has been the biggest tool in my journey to healing and living a fulfilling life.  I will be forever grateful for the counselor who planted the seed in me (and of course to google auto fill )

As far as where I am on the list, just by looking at the title I could say anyone from 1-14, but 3 and 13 seem to stand out the most. Thank you for pointing those out and I will look into them more.