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Hi guys . I hope everyone is doing well. Last night I was on my Instagram account. Well since my ex disguarded me and blocked me on FB I in a way felt powerless. I really wished I had blocked her 1st. That I will say would have made me feel a hell of a lot better.

Well this was Oct 2015 and I will say I believe she was stalking me. I won't get into that but everyone knows the calls no one there  the fake FB messages etc.

Well since her blocking me on FB I was. It gonna have her have the upper hand in me like that again. So every now and then I would make sure she wasn't on Instagram looking at me photos.

Well last night I found her account. She must have just put it up bc she was not there last week. Also NO pictures just friends  she was following including a string of her ex lovers whom she claimed to me she didn't speak to anymore. Yea one of the many lies she told me.

Anyway I blocked her! I will say that made me feel so friggen Good! I felt like I had gained my Power and control back!

But unfortunately my victory was short lived because no sooner I blocked her 10 min later she deleted her account! I was like what the heck? She disappeared off my blocked user page and is now off Instagram.

I don't know what that was about but I find it strange that I blocked her and now she deleted her account.  

Hmm maybe it's because of the picture I put up before I blocked her if the new person I'm dating?
 
It's weird indeed but made me feel Good!

Being part of a game where she is involved might be keeping you from moving on.

You might try thinking " She isn't worth engaging in a game " or " I don't care if she wins or loses in this power game because I have better things to do with my life"

... .and trust me I've been a victim of this. My ex would find my online dating profile, then create her own with text directed at me such as " people who want to control me for my own good and sociopaths please stay far away" and whatnot. She would visit or "wink" so then I would visit and read it.

It would stupid and luckily when I asked the dating sites if they could make me invisible to her - they just deleted her account instead. (:

-roger

Thanks for this! Because I have to make sure I'm not on a more positive mindset with the hidden intention of trying to have control. My situation I gave her plenty of control by never leaving her and then begging for her back when I finally did leave and then asked for her back a week later. She can have her delusional control. The sad thing is she will always try to control and never feel like she has any.

I know how you feel Confused.

My friend sent me a confusing text 3 weeks ago and then went incommunicado for over 2 weeks with just short replies to my texts to let me know 'everything was ok'.  I set a timeframe of two weeks for him to get in contact with me off his own back and not in response to something I had initiated; he didn't bother so I text him saying it wasn't a good idea to be friends anymore.  His reply to that was for me to grow up and accused me of being drunk!  I assured him I was not drunk and that it was for the best as I had had enough.  He responded with "ok, no worries, take care x".  I didn't respond to that and its been 8 days since the last contact.  As I told him to do one and didn't respond back to his last 'cheery' text I feel like I have the upper hand and have taken control back of the situation. I've normally caved by now and contacted him but I'm not going to this time as I am sick of feeling like I am being used.  

My sentiments are either be my friend or not; stop making out I'm the best person in the world then drop me like a hot potato when something obviously better comes along.

I think when we are really wronged and silenced, it builds a certain kind of resentment that can last for a long time. It's one reason I don't often recommend "strict non-contact" (not a term I use, but I see it often). It makes the other person want to retaliate.

When it is done to us, we want to even the score.

People committed to strict no-contact see it as "power". This is an illusion. It is a "crutch". What is the one thing we do with a real crutch. We work hard to obsolete it. Why, because, in a sense, a crutch is "weakness".

Which is more powerful?

 |---> Blocking your ex, thinking about it every day, and then unblocking to take a peak and blocking again?

 |---> Mentally not looking anymore. Letting it go.

 |---> Changing our email address

 |---> Being able to see an incoming email and not be emotionally weakened by it.

Mentally letting go is power... .not over them... .over ourselves.

It takes time. Just a reminder that the goal is "detachment", not "no contact", and not "winning".

I understand what everyone is saying. And thanks for the time to comment. Each one of us has their own journey with dealing with a loved one who suffers from BPD. Each one of us all have different stories as well. I don't consider this playing a game. My ex is very manipulating. Unfortunatly I didn't figure this out until it was over and I put the puzzle pieces together. I have had a long history with her dating back to being friends at 12 and dating at 14. I won't go into that but blocking her from seeing my stuff weather it be instagrahm Facebook whatever is for me. I want nothing more to do with her at all. This is not game playing. And I don't feel she is playing a game either. It just boils down to her being severely mentally ill and I'm done with that. I decided not to be friends with her after her discard . I do not want that type of toxic person in my life. So I will continue to block her and have no reason to peak at her fake happy life. Blocking a person is NOT a game . So everyone deals with things different. This is how I deal with mine.