BPDFamily.com

I used to have a close friendship with a close male friend of mine who I have known for four years; he had romantic feelings towards me. We met in boarding school back in 2011. I didn't even know he existed until he added me on facebook back in 2012. We had an online relationship where we would talk about each others problems, and relationships, etc. Even when he was living with his ex gf he always had feelings towards me and he would always ask when I was coming down to visit him while he was with his gf; they were in an open relationship with each other. I met the guy for the first time last September and we debated on starting a long distance relationship with each other last October. Unfortunately I got sucked in and I ended up having sex with him even though we weren't yet in an established relationship which I regret. Between October to January he kept asking me when I was coming down from Canada to visit him in New york state.
I told him that I couldn' either because of health problems, financial problems, or not being able to miss work. After I told him that I wasn't comfortable with the fact that he was still living with his ex gf who is the mother of his child. I find out 16 days later after talking to him on the phone that he started seeing someone else after he text messaged me and he has now shacked up with his new gf just barely two weeks after inviting me to come down and visit him. He then wouldn't stop bugging me and asked me my address to ship my phone charger back to me. He then had the nerve to bug me over instagram and like all my pictures on facebook and in stagram and then two weeks later i chat with him on  kik messenger and he starts asking me if I got his text message that he's no longer single. I basically changed the subject and then that's when he flat out asked me if he had lost my friendship or not. Why would he care whether or not he's lost my friendship when he's shacked up with his "new gf" who remains nameless. None of his friends know his new gf's name, he still puts on facebook that he's single, and there are no likes or comments from any girls on his facebook photos or statuses. I know he's not lying because his guy friend told me that it's confirmed he's living with his new gf in the same apartment building.

I don't even think I can remain friends with this guy anymore. His friend invited me down to hang out so I figured I would hang out with his friend just to see what happens. I know he has been jealous before of me talking to his friend. Should i expect to hear from this guy anytime in the near future? The longest we have gone without talking was 7 months. I kept him blocked on facebook for 7 months and he sent me two emails saying how sorry he was and begging me to forgive him because he really missed talking to me.

It doesn't seem normal to me that you would go one week living with your ex gf only to move in with a new girl who you barely know the next week after asking me down to hang out. Is this a sign of co dependency or what? He still keeps tabs on me on instagram and my facebook page... .still follows me on all my social media accounts.

I forgot to mention that this guy's mom is a drug addict, he's adopted, and he's not close with either his adopted parents or his biological parents. COuld him going from girl to girl have anything to do with the fact that he has BPD, or that he has paternal issues with his mother?

 

It's good that you are clearly sorting out where your values are different from his.  I applaud you for wisely keeping your distance since your values are so different.  |iiii

I wouldn't read too much into his actions.  The "reasons" could be anything from... ."He likes lots of women... .at the same time... " to all sorts of mental labels.  Really hard to tell at this point.

If you want a relationship with him... .as he is now.  Then I would reach out to him.  If you want to learn you lesson and move on, nothing wrong with that either.

Live life for you... let others sort themselves out.

FF