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Title: Best friend with personality disorder traits Post by: bleu on March 01, 2017, 07:02:52 PM I have been close friends with this person for years although something has always seemed different then other friendships. We speak multiple times a day and spend a lot of time together. Everything was fine and one day we had a miscommunication. The next day she stopped all communication with me. When I questioned her she denied her lack of communication and was distant, angry and not herself. From there there were multiple interactions with her angry, yelling, blaming, turning everything I ever said to her in confidence back on me as a problem I had. She always would say we were still friends at the end of our talks but there is no communication or anything anymore that would seem like a friendship. I've read a lot about personality disorders and she seems to have BPD and narcissist qualities. She does have a history of ending friendships with anyone she becomes close to. My therapist say she has split me black. I've read enough on these forums to realize this happens but I'm am having a hard time excepting it is really over. How do you know it's over for good and to walk away or keep in touch once in a while so she knows you haven't abandoned her. Was there any part of friendship that was real to this person or was I just used /manipulated for what she needed?
Title: Re: Best friend with personality disorder traits Post by: Mutt on March 01, 2017, 08:47:20 PM Hi bleu,
*welcome* I'd like to welcome you to bpdfamily. I'm glad that you found that the forun was helpful and you decided to join |iiii You have good questions, I don't believe that it's over, the pendulum swings both ways, you'll be split white again, it's difficult to say how long though, it could be days, weeks, months, years and i've read some accounts on these boards that they heard from their ex pwBPD decades later. The manipulation is a good question, a pwBPD don't have control over the disorder, you've probably read the term fog on the forums, fear, obligation and guilt which is emotional blackmail. My advise is to read as much as you can about the disorder, the behaviors are not personal to you, it's something that your friend is going through, depersonalize the behaviors. That being said. We can understand why our pwBPD act the way that they do, we can still have our feelings about the behaviors. I think that you're doing the right thing with talking to people that understand it because it helps to validate your feelings, your friend is not capable of that and will likely blame you for your actions, it's confusing. It helps to get realistic feedback from non's. |