BPDFamily.com

Hi,

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and I love him very very much. He told me the day we met that he has bipolar disorder but now it's more clear that he has BPD. He had a horrible childhood and I do feel for him. He's not from the same country as I am so I was living with him already after 6 months because he came back to my country so we could be together.

We had a horrible crisis last summer, he seemed to have some kind of mental breakdown. He lost his job and went on a 2 day drinking binge and apparently sat by the sea and thought about drowning himself. After this he started a new medication (but for bipolar) and he just became more difficult. I needed a break from him so we almost broke up, he went back to his country for 3 months to work and save money.  After that he came back here again. I now found out that he had been living with a 51 year old woman in his own country because he had nowhere else to stay. And he has been "in a relationship" with this woman, or that's what he has told her. To me he just said he only used her. Which I kind of believe since he is only 30 himself and this woman isn't exactly a looker, she could be his mum! So basically he has been lying to me, cheated and I also found out that he lied about other stuff to me, stuff that happened when we first started dating. What is wrong with him? Obviously I know he is mentally ill but still. He is now in a psych ward since he wanted to kill himself after I left him. On Tuesday he goes back to his own country because I said we are over. But now he wants me to "one day in the future when he is better" give him another chance and he says he loves me more than he has ever loved anyone. I can tell he is really devastated and distraught by all this but how could he do that to me? I don't understand.

So I guess I'm asking to get some viewpoints from other people who have experience with this disorder, I'm obviously distraught and feel like I'm dying of grief.