BPDFamily.com

Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: girlin love on March 07, 2017, 03:44:54 PM



Title: need help
Post by: girlin love on March 07, 2017, 03:44:54 PM
My girlfriend has BPD but would get help and doesnt think she needs help.
how do u get the help she needs without setting her off?


Title: Re: need help
Post by: Tattered Heart on March 08, 2017, 08:05:04 AM
Welcome ,

Has your gf been diagnosed with BPD or is she undiagnosed. Unfortunately if she is unwilling to get counseling, you cannot force her to get the help she needs. THat is a decision that she has to make for herself. You can try to support her and lead her there, but ultimately the final say is hers. It's frustrating when you can see what your loved one needs but they are unwilling to take the advice.

In the meantime, there are many things that you can do to try to help yourself communicate better with your pwBPD and to understand what is going on in regards to you. We have many workshops on the right side of the page that can lead the way in that process.


Title: Re: need help
Post by: Naughty Nibbler on March 08, 2017, 10:58:32 PM
girlin love: I'd like to join Tattered Heart in welcoming  

Has your girlfriend received a formal BPD diagnosis?  It can be difficult to get someone into therapy.  Unless they want to go, recognize they have problems and want to work on improving, they generally won't gain much benefit.  Has your girlfriend been in therapy before?

The article at the link below could be helpful:

How to Get a Borderline into Therapy (https://bpdfamily.com/content/how-to-get-borderline-into-therapy)



Title: Re: need help
Post by: girlin love on March 11, 2017, 12:34:48 PM
She knows she has BPD and say can afford therapy and I even offered to help pay for it . She says she want to work on our relationship but doesn't try and then she want an open Relationship and doesn't want to cheat on me or hurt me. One of the problem is the we have he sister and brother in law and niece and their baby sister living with us and she think she is responsible for them and her sister is 33 so there is a lot of stress in the house plus we work in stressful jobs. She is almost separating herself from everyone all the time and feel like she not always there.