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Title: Daughter of a narcissistic mother Post by: Crosie on March 13, 2017, 06:45:33 PM Just learned about a year ago about my mom after they moved to the same state as my husband and I. It has been really tough, and now, it is out of control.
I am so angry, and I don't want anything to do with her after the last email she sent to me today. She has no clue that I figured out she is a narcissist. I read the book last year and started to do thing diff9. Not being readily available, or not calling her as much. Then it hit the fan in October when it was the last draw with me, and now it has come to the point to where I don't want anything to do with her. I an done. Title: Re: Daughter of a narcissistic mother Post by: Naughty Nibbler on March 13, 2017, 08:58:43 PM Welcome Crosie: I'm sorry you have a narcissistic mother. I can understand how her actions can make you angry. You say she moved to your State. Does she live too close to you? Quote from: Crosie I am so angry, and I don't want anything to do with her after the last email she sent to me today. She has no clue that I figured out she is a narcissist. I read the book last year and started to do things differently. Not being readily available, or not calling her as much. Then it hit the fan in October when it was the last draw with me, and now it has come to the point to where I don't want anything to do with her. I am done. It's a personal decision whether to go no contact (NC) or limited contact (LC). Some people switch back and forth. It doesn't really matter what label you can attach to your mom. We can't change others, but the way we interact with them and react to them can make things better for us. BOUNDARIES (http://www.httsp://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=61684.0) will be important to you. They are for your benefit and are up to you to enforce. You can apply boundaries to emails and other communications. Some people direct email to a special folder or label the from designation as spam. There are a lot of workshops/articles on communications skills here that can be helpful to use with anyone in your daily life. You might want to learn some of the skills, in case you resume contact with your mom at some point. Even if you don't get a chance to use the skills with your mom, the learning won't go to waste, because you will boost your emotional IQ. When you want to share more, perhaps in regard to the email, or something else, there are a lot of listening ears here who can give you support and ideas. Take care. Title: Re: Daughter of a narcissistic mother Post by: Woolspinner2000 on March 13, 2017, 09:05:31 PM Welcome, Crosie!
Let me start with a hug for you. It is so tough, this life with a disordered parent. I am so sorry. The wounds and the hurt are beyond comprehension, aren't they? My mom was an uBPD, and I am a member on the C&H board for a reason as I learn how to cope and live and heal. So many other members here will be able to understand as well. It is a great site in which to find support and listening ears that will not judge you for the feelings you are experiencing. Speaking of feelings, are you able to identify some of the things you are feeling concerning your mom? I had shut down my feelings so much that I struggled at first to figure out some of what was bubbling and wanting to erupt inside of me. Anger is often a cover for many other feelings. I have a list of feeling words that has helped me a lot. I'll post a link for you if you'd like to take a look: The Feeling Wheel (https://med.emory.edu/excel/documents/Feeling%20Wheel.pdf) I'll be interested in what you find out. Do you have a T that is helping you on this journey? Wools |