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Hi guys I have a question.  I know majority of us have been blocked on Facebook by our ex BPDs. Mine blocked me in Oct 2015. When I clicked on her name from her previous comments on my page I got this weird tower signal saying something is wrong please try again. Well that's what you get when a person. Locks you in FB. A error message comes up. Every so often when my Facebook memories would pop up in my page and I would see her past comments I would click on her name only to still have the error message come up and still be blocked. I even went to my old messages with her and not have any option at all regarding her thru those old messages. Now here is the strange part. I got the other day another FB memory and there she was next to her old comments from 2 years ago. I decided to click on her name. It went through! But all I could see was her profile picture and her name. No Background picture in her page . Nothing like send a message or anything. Just her name and her profile pic. Then I went to my old FB messages with her and now had a load full of options including Blocking her from ever sending me another FB message in the future. My question is what is this? I'm obviously still blocked but it seems to an extent now. Not the 100 % blocked that I couldn't see anything regarding her. Anyone know what this is? Thanks

It means you are still blocked. It's just a new thing where you can see that the person is still active on FB and hasn't deactivated their account.

I really shouldn't know this but I like you was looking at stuff the other day and figured that out.

Thanks PW. I'm very happy that they did because now I was able to finally block that witch from ever sending me another Facebook message again! I patiently wait for the day she unblocks me so I can repay the favor.

I think it means that you are no longer blocked but just not friends, the reason you can see her profile pic only is because she has set everything to friends only.
If you were blocked you wouldn't have the option to message and the pic in old messages between you would be greyed out.

I could be wrong but this is what I have read, if you are blocked and searched for her while you are logged out of face book you would see her profile pic whereas if you search while logged in you would get nothing.

One more thing. Facebook claims that when a person blocks you that the person won't be notified or know you blocked them. If this is a new feature by FB that totally contradicts what they have said.

You may be correct . I only say this because her add friend  option is gone. Now I can't see that from when I clicked on her name but another friend looked her up and said there are only 2 options under her pic. It's message and  more. That's it. But I can't see that. I only see her pic and her name. Nothing else. Not even her background pic. FB is crazy ! And yes you are correct. When my ex blocked me back in 2015 I could not click on her name at all in my old messages. Her little profile pic was there but you are right her name was NOT highlighted anymore.

The "Add friends" part of facebook was changed a while ago. Now people can set their profile where only friends of friends can add. There's also the case if you ever tried to add before, and they declined, the option might also have disappeared with the changes facebook made.

So in other words, just because "add friends" isn't there doesn't mean your necessarily blocked persay.

That's correct.

Also you can copy the http headline bar from her page and log out of fb then open a new tab and paste it in the top bar and hit enter and see what you get.
Another thing is if you have the option to block her you are not blocked.

Sounds like you were but she has unblocked you.

I say this to help you and I mean it in a caring way... .what you are doing is unhealthy and the opposite of detaching.

Think about what you are saying.

1. You are trying every possible way to get around her block (i.e., trying to stalk  her).
2. If she ever onblocks you, you will rejoice because you can block her. Of course she wouldn't even know if she is not looking. And, you would be in the same situation you are now, you won't see anything, so you'll probably be blocking and unblocking to take a peak. She will see that and block you again... .

My ex never blocked me. I had an unexplainable desire to look.

I had to fight my impulses to look... .and I did... .and I felt really good about it each time I did. I felt strong.

Why? Because I was respecting her life and whomever is in it. I was respecting my life and those in it. I was moving forward with my life.

I got upset about things that happened. I analyzed the relationship - a lot. I finally figured out what happened. I saw my role. I learned lessons. I let go.

It's really important to do this. What you are going through now is an ego wound  (narcissistic wound). It will help to see it. Seeing it will be motivating to stop.

Skip thank you very much for your input but I will be clear on this . I am not Stalking my ex. I am an ex cop so I know what Stalking is. I do NOT want this woman back in my life at all. And I feel blocking a person to keep them out of your life is not unhealthy. If anyone was Staljed it was me by her for years before I even knew she was there. I have blocked her on other platforms and this once I get the chance will be the last one. We aren't Drs. or Shrinks here . Getting a toxic person out of your life is one of the most helathesit things a person can do. And that's exactly what I'm doing for me. Thanks.

Thanks for the input In a bad way and Shadow

But you're blocked. She cannot look at you. She is not trying to contact you.


Why are you doing this work? Think about (and please don't be defensive). Healthy detachment or something else?


You don't have to win at this. Trying to win is attachment.


This is a rainbow. If you finally get to this point, it will be a surprising nothing. You can let go now.

First of all you do NOT know anything about me or what I went thru with my crazy ex. Since young teens.  My ex has a dirty dirty little habit of coming back into people's lives and causing chaos and leaving behind a trail of destructi in her wake. It is MY Optiion what I see fit in dealing with my ex. Saying to people oh blocking them etc is a Narc and telling me that I clicked on her pic from a FB memory and that makes me what a Stalker is wrong. I asked a simple question on here bc I Don't want my ex back and blocking her will ensure that. Instead I get you telling me I have Narc traits and I'm a stalker. Do you have a PHD? Skip? Do you have a major or minor in Psych? I find it very offensive for you to even try and label me in the way you just did. You know I kept my mouth shut in here for over a year and sit back while other members asked simple questions and were either made to feel like total $hit or given wrong info by a bunch of idiots who think they actually are licensed professionals without degrees. In fact I told a mod a few weeks ago to cancel my account because of some new wise a$$ member with a big mouth  insulting me in my own thread. Then when I reported it I was suspended for a few days! Yea great place ya got here. You know what Skip you can now ban me permenatly bc imo this site just sucks. Do yourself a real favor and get that degree before you start giving out fake diagnose on people. I'm done.

Confused108,

The "new wise a$$" was a brand new members who was trying to help you - it was a constructive and sincere post. A number of us looked into that matter.

And you weren't "suspended for a few days".  :)  You're membership was closed as you asked. I asked the staff to open it back up and give you a chance to cool off and come back.

Confused108, you have triggered and gone on the attack with members since 2015 when the advice doesn't suit you. This isn't helpful.

Why not look at the advice people give you as sincere and carry and step back and consider its validity. Members are emotionally tied to others stories so we can be more objective and help each other.

Our common interests and goals are what brings us together - let it not be what comes between us. Please be mindful that one of the important roles we all have is to help “center” others.

Skip