|
Title: Lost Post by: Kelela23 on March 19, 2017, 10:11:20 PM Hi all,
I am new to this online site. I have been trying to find a support group. I recently separated from my husband who I strongly believe has borderline personality disorder. The last two years has been an emotional roller coaster and I feel I have lost myself. He has done things to me I would never let any one else to do. From emotional abuse and manipulation do you straight up domestic violence, I am at a point where I'm trying to heal and gain back who I am. The hard part is we have a child together and I have two children from a previous marriage who both love him. I do not know if he is really getting help. I know I cannot force him to. I just don't know what to do anymore. He keeps blaming me for every single thing he has done to me from cheating to not having a job. At times I want to just get him out of my life but I still love him and if he really has this disorder then shouldn't I be there for him as his wife? Please help me with some encouraging words as to folks who either made it together or did not. Respects, Kelela23 Title: Re: Lost Post by: Meili on March 21, 2017, 10:26:59 AM *welcome*
I'm sorry for what you're going through but glad you have found a community where many of us have been through similar experiences, and we can learn from each other. What happened recently to bring your here? Not accepting responsibility for their own actions is pretty common in people with BPD. They project their feelings and emotions about themselves onto the people with whom they are intimate. That may be what is going on with your husband. It hurts and is hard to deal with. One way to help cope with it is to learn to Listen with Empathy (https://bpdfamily.com/content/listen-with-empathy) so that you can hear what he is actually conveying to you rather than the words that he is using. There are other communication skills that will minimize the behavior of someone with BPD and these have proven successful for some of the members here. In addition to the one about empathy that I linked above, there are others to in the sidebar to the right of this page that will help provide you with a good foundation to work from. You mentioned domestic violence, when did that last occur? Keep posting - it is very therapeutic, and you will be greeted by so many people with circumstanced similar to your own. You will be amazed. Take care of yourself. Title: Re: Lost Post by: Mutt on March 22, 2017, 05:30:32 PM Hi Kelela23,
*welcome* I'd like to join Meili and welcome you to bpdfamily. I'm glad that you found the forum, a lot of us here can relate with having a partner that has BPD traits and we've all gone through similar experiences. This is a safe place where you can share your thoughts and feelings without getting invalidated, it helps to talk. I can imagine the emotional exaustion and distress that you feel, you mentioned that he can get violent, are you safe right now? |