BPDFamily.com

Sorry, this sounds silly. I'm a new member. Can anyone kindly tell me how i can PM some one?  When i open any profile, they say i cant view. So i couldn't understand how to PM. Thank you. :)

Hello anu6 and welcome to you.  The PM functionality becomes available after you have posted 10 times. How can we help you.

WDx

Hi anu6,

Who is the person with BPD in your life,  and how can we help?

Turkish

Hi wendydarling and Turkish, thank you so much for replying. The person is my UBPD BF of 10years. After 10 posts, i would like to talk to one or two experienced members personally in PM.

I would like to discuss about the specific therapies which is helping/has helped non-BPD partner.

And also about how he or she has applied/ is applying boundaries in specific cases.

I've read many articles and books on BPD but sharing personal examples helps a lot too.

Can you tell me whom i can message? who are experienced members here who would like to share with me?

Thank you so much for this community. :)

Hi anu6:   

This is a safe place to share.  Others have felt a bit shy about posting details as well.  Posting and interacting with others on the boards (as opposed to PMs), is the foundation of this community.  The collective minds and situations of all the members gives you a lot of resources.  You never know when someone reads your posts and may reply with helpful information or support for your situation.  If members focused on interacting by PM, it would limit the resources for both you and for many others.
Have you tried a form of therapy in the past?  Some people find they benefit best by using a therapist who has had experience treating BPD patients.  The type of therapist recommended might depend on what's all going on with you personally.  Cognitive Based Therapy (CBT) or Aceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) are two possible types of therapy.  Some members find it productive to learn many of the communication skills/strategies, come here and check their understanding by posting and gaining input from others.  Then, they also gain reinforcement and input by a therapist (the support can occur in any order, perhaps with a therapist first).  All forms of practice and support are beneficial.

Have you tried any specific communication skills with your partner? DON'T INVALIDATE (OR VALIDATION)   (https://bpdfamily.com/content/communication-skills-validation)can be a helpful strategy or  SET (Support, Empathy and Truth) (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=143695.0) is a communication skill you might want to try.  You let your partner know that you want to support him/her in some way that you feel comfortable with. Empathy is basically the same as Validation and Truth is just what it says. 

   Sounds like you may have done some reading about  BOUNDARIES (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=61684.0)  What are some boundaries you would like to set and enforce?

We look forward to hearing more of your story, when you are ready to share.