BPDFamily.com

Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: Laurielynn on March 29, 2017, 05:46:40 PM



Title: I feel like I kicked in the gut again.
Post by: Laurielynn on March 29, 2017, 05:46:40 PM
In my last post, I didn't get too many responses about being triangulated with ex bf and newest GF. Surely, since that's a red flag BPD's  do and NPD's ... .someone was set up this way?

Anyway, since all this came down last week, I feel like I kicked in the gut again. It has def set off my ptsd symptoms, and I'm feeling numbed out and shocked, like in a fog.

The GF has been fed apparently with a bunch of lies, to get her jealous and prop up the ex's ego. The things she wrote to me my ex said abt me were awfulI. I was nothing but kind until the abuse got so bad in the end, I fought back.

 I tried telling her I was no threat, had no interest in the ex BPD bf. It's so disturbing, I still feel I need to fight back, and set the record straight but don't want to get deeper in their mess.

I don't know how to get out of this funk or why this even still effects me so.
I'm long over the ex BPD... .Anybody else had a bad set back and how did you u deal with it? I just want to stop this feeling so bad... Yuck!
Thanks
Aldactone


Title: Re: I feel like I kicked in the gut again.
Post by: joeramabeme on March 29, 2017, 09:00:54 PM
Hi LL

You say that had a "setback" and that "I'm long over the ex BPD" . . . Truthfully, this does not sound like a setback but rather, a setup for you to stay stuck.  

I say this because having PTSD re-triggered is very serious business and a sign that you are not detached.  To be fair, perhaps there is more to your story and you some how became re-engaged in conflict?

At this point you have probably read a fair number of messages on this board; detaching.  People dont talk about leaving a BPD breakup as being easy or long over it, else they would not be on this board to begin with.

I am wondering if you had an expectation that this would be easy to leave and so perhaps judging yourself  harshly?  There is no shame in missing an ex loved one.  

JRB