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Title: First timer Post by: katdog on March 30, 2017, 06:16:08 PM How do you explain the deep hurt and violation that occurs from a mother that totally tears your heart to pieces to others? It has been years of craziness and hurtful comments that you never understood until the light bulb goes on and you finally start to see what is happening. I never knew where to turn or who to talk to.
She would tell me no one cares about me but her and my sister and then they turn on me. Please help me understand this. Title: Re: First timer Post by: Kwamina on March 30, 2017, 07:47:22 PM Hi katdog
It really is very hard for a child when your own mother treats you in an abusive manner. I am very sorry you experienced this. I have an undiagnosed BPD mother and can relate to the hurt you express. What level of contact do you currently have with your mother? You also mention your mother and your sister turning on you? This is something I also experienced within my own family with my mother and older sister. How is your relationship with your sister now? It can indeed be very difficult to understand why a parent would treat her child this way. BPD is a disorder and as a result of their distorted thinking and perception, people with BPD unfortunately can behave in a way that is very difficult for the people closest to them. The hurtful things your mother says are most likely a reflection of her own inner turmoil and negativity which she is then projecting onto you as a way of getting rid of her own negative feelings about herself. Basically to prevent herself from feeling bad about herself she is trying to make you feel bad about yourself so she can then feel better about herself. People with BPD aren't even necessarily fully aware of these dynamics, it might seem natural to them as a result of their distorted thinking and perception. Feelings often equate to facts for people with BPD, so when they feel a certain way they believe this feeling to be an accurate reflection of reality. Unfortunately this can create an environment that is very difficult for children to grow up in. Take care and welcome to our online community PS. We mostly get along pretty well here, nothing like cats and dogs at all :) |